Across the Realm
by The Other One 7721
Summary: Emma should not like him, should not be interested in him at all. She's betrothed. But she cannot deny the interest he sparks in her, nor the connection they have. Lieutenant Duckling, because there can never be enough.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time, or any of the characters within.**

To any normal traveler, the rain would be a deterrent this day. Throughout the kingdom and the woods surrounding it, the rain came down heavily. If the goal of the cascading water was to prevent sight, then it succeeded, for no man could see but his own hand before his face. The few unfortunate souls who had been caught in the unsuspecting downpour had been forced to run to a nearby alcove and wait. The downpour went on for hours, each second ticking by slowly, and the atmosphere becoming more and more dreadful with each passing hour.

It is assumed that during such weather is when evil makes its deals. The harsh rain is a symbol of the suffering that is to come and the evilness of the deal. Windows are shut and doors locked, fear keeping the people indoors. But it is not evil at work in the kingdom, only a spring shower that had lasted a few hours too long. On this dreary night no deals were made, in fact, evil was not even in the kingdom. No, there was no darkness in the rain.

Now, the sun teasingly coming over the horizon, with that there is darkness.

_Seventeen Years Later_

Running through the streets wearing a skirt was hardly something that Emma would recommend to anyone. The ground was slick from a recent rain and several of the tiles were loose. Glancing behind her, she saw that the guards were still trailing behind her, though the distance was less than before. She had the advantage of being light on her feet, but they knew the kingdom better than she. It was only a matter of time before they caught up to her, and once they did she couldn't imagine the trouble she would be in.

Turning down an alley, she hoped that it led to the outskirts of town. If she made it to the port, surely she could hide for a time before making her way back home. Luck, it seemed was on her side, since with another turn the port was before her. The guards were no longer visible behind her, but that didn't mean they couldn't still find her. She searched the port for a spot to hide for a while, no longer paying attention to the people around her.

She took a step toward a small tavern when she felt a heavy weight slam into her and her balance was lost. Closing her eyes, Emma expected to feel the sting of the ground, but instead two strong hands grasped her arms to steady her.

"I am so sorry, miss. I apologize for not paying attention to my surroundings." The voice sounded apologetic, and slightly panicked. Glancing up, Emma was startled to be met by striking blue eyes. She had not encountered many men in her life, the guards being the only ones truly, but she was confident that no one on earth should possess a pair of bluer eyes. "Miss, are you alright?" It was his voice again that startled her out of her thoughts. Shaking her head, she stepped away from his grasp. She truly hated to appear rude, but standing in the middle of the street talking with a stranger would not help her stay out of trouble.

"I am perfectly fine, thank you. Please do pay attention in the future." How she hated to be so cold, but she could not risk this man following her. She aborted her plan of the tavern and instead made her way to the small shop that was closer to her. The tavern was a safer place to hide, but the shop was closer and that was what she needed.

It was only after the door closed behind her that she allowed herself to relax. The guards had either given up on her or they were looking in the wrong spot. The man had also not followed her, which was good. If her mother had found out that she had a brief interaction with a man, she would be angry. It was her mother's belief that a young lady should not talk with a man other than her betrothed. Emma had never understood the belief, but since she had never even spoken to her betrothed, she guessed it was fair. She only hoped to meet him soon.

It was several hours later that Emma decided to chance walking home. Nightfall had begun to settle, and if she wasn't home soon her mother would panic. There were no guards by the port when Emma first walked out, so she continued on. She knew no other way home than the one that she had come, so she had to risk the chance that one of the guards had stayed close by. Thankfully, she did not see any as she turned down the alley. The alley was dark at this time of day, and she would admit to the fear it caused in her. But she was not one to cower in fear.

A familiar shop told her that she had almost made it back to the hole she had originally snuck out of. She stopped for a second to breathe, her fear of getting caught having made her heart pound. She got on her hand and knees and crawled under the wall in front of her, something her mother would have been appalled at had she known. There was still a bit of distance that Emma needed to cover before she was safe, so she sprinted across the way. Grabbing the vine she had crawled down on, she started to pull herself up. The climb up was harder than the one down, but it only took her several minutes to figure it out. Climbing over the windowsill proved the most difficult part, but after a great heave, Emma fell to the floor of her room.

Groaning, she rolled over onto her back. The room was empty, which was good. A part of her had feared that her mother would be in here waiting. Slowly getting to her feet, she was relieved to see that her door was still locked, meaning her mother had not yet come looking for her.

Emma was still standing in the middle of her room when her stomach growled. She had spent so much of the day running, that she had not eaten since early that morning. Suddenly starving, she set about grabbing a new dress, for her current one was in disarray. After she was satisfied that her appearance would not give her day away, she left her room.

The table was set for two when she made her way into the dining room. She was a bit surprised, but the cook always seemed to know exactly when she would be hungry. Sitting down and grabbing what was before her, Emma was just biting into a piece of sourdough bread when the door to the dining hall opened again. Her mother walked through the doors, head held high. Footmen on both sides of the door shut it behind her as she walked into the room.

Emma stood up quickly and offered a curtsey, still chewing on the piece of bread. She swallowed quickly and added "Your Majesty" to her bow. Her mother, the queen, sat down next to her, giving her a quick smile before turning toward her own plate. The silence stretched on between them for most of them meal, only an occasional comment disturbing it.

"I have been in a meeting all day with the diplomats, and we have reached a decision on when your wedding is to take place."

Emma had been dreading this news. It was part of the reason she had run today. While she knew her betrothal was for the best of the kingdom, she still did not like the idea of marrying a man she did not know. Despite her rare encounters with men, she still held on to the notion of romance and true love. Instead of either, she was being forced into a marriage of convenience for the kingdom.

"And when, o pray tell, have you decided my life shall be given away?" At the look on her mother's face, Emma wished she had held her tongue. Her mother was not any happier with the situation than she was. If the kingdom hadn't been struggling for several years now, then this wouldn't have been necessary at all. But they needed the alliance with the Dark One that this marriage would bring.

"Emma, sweetie, I'm sorry." Her mother grabbed her hand and gently squeezed it before releasing it. "I wish I could have given you more time, but it has been decided that you will be married by the next summer solstice."

There were still four months before the winter solstice, which meant there would still be almost a year before her marriage. She would be barely eighteen and vowing to spend her entire life with a man she didn't know. Tears pricked at her eyes at how unfair this was. Why was the kingdom forcing her into this? Refusing to let her tears fall, she stood up quickly from the table. She didn't know where she would go, but it didn't matter, she just had to get away.

Her room was the safest place in the kingdom for her to truly be herself. Opening the door and crawling onto her bed, she wished she hadn't stopped the tears. Her eyes burned with the need, but no tears fell. She heard her door open again, and she knew it was her mother. While she had hoped to be alone, she knew her mother wished her well.

The bed dipped and a second later an arm was put around her, comforting her. Many viewed the queen as a strict leader, but Emma knew better. Her mother was strict only because she had to make difficult decisions for the sake of the kingdom. And one of those decisions just happened to be letting her only child marry a man she had never met.

Her mother pulled her closer and stroked her hair. "I'm sorry, my dear, so sorry. I have fought this decree for months, but I have not been able to convince the council. If there was any other way, I would do it in an instance." Her mother's words were soft, comforting her even in her despair.

Swallowing a sob, Emma nodded against her mother. "I know why you are doing this, Mother. But that does not mean I have to like it. I have not yet given up on the notion of marrying for love."

Love was a subject not often addressed in the castle. While Emma knew her mother had been in love at some time, she had never met the man that was her true love. All Emma ever knew about the man was that he had been killed before her birth, so she had never met him. Her mother had only mentioned him two times during her life. Emma had never felt connected to the ghost of a man, and had never really considered that this man must have been her father. She knew the facts, but the emotions weren't there.

Her mother stiffened, as expected. "Emma, I do not wish for you to marry against your will, but do not discard the idea of love completely." She was surprised her mother had not written love off as a foolish idea. "You have never met this man, Prince Baelfire, how can you be certain that you cannot grow to love him?"

It was a fair point, and she knew her mother was only trying to help, but she did not want to find love in captivity. And that is how she viewed this upcoming marriage, as a prison. Holding her tongue, Emma chose not to voice these thoughts to her mother. They had too many discussions on this for her to waste her breath on another. No, her fate was decided; she would marry this Baelfire person and spend her life with him.

"How was the kingdom today?" It was Emma's turn to stiffen. She turned in the bed so she was facing her mother. Her dark hair was down and falling gently over her shoulders. Her mother looked younger, softer perhaps. It was not often that she was let down her queen persona. Emma expected her to be angry and harsh, but instead her mother had a small smile on her lips.

"How…" Emma started but was interrupted.

"You left your dress on the floor." There was a sparkle in her mother's eye as she motioned to the discarded gown on the floor. She had forgotten to put it away in her haste this afternoon.

"I'm sorry for disobeying you, Mother. I just wanted to be free from the pressures of this life for a few hours."

Her mother smiled in understanding. "I knew could not keep you safe in these castle walls forever. I have always known that you would eventually venture into the city on your own. I had thought that it would be up to you when you were finally ready to be outside these walls." That was a surprise. She looked at her mother again. "Did you see anything that interested you in the kingdom?"

She was sure her mother meant something among the merchants, but her thoughts drifted to the blue eyes she had seen at the port and the man they belonged to. She had not gotten a glimpse of his entire face, her thoughts mostly consumed with getting away and then distracted by how blue they appeared. He was the first man she had ever really met, and the first she had even been touched by. She felt her face warm at the thought of having his hands on her arms as he caught her.

She shouldn't have these thoughts. The truth, she was sure, was that it could have been any young man that she had fun into and she would have felt the same right now. It was only because he was the first man she had even run into that she was curious about him. Not that she would ever see him again.

Her mother was still waiting for a reply, so she came up with her best. "I ventured down to the port for a little bit. The ships were magnificent! I would wish to travel on one at some time."

Her mother seemed to take this into thought. "I had planned for an escort to take you to the Dark One's kingdom across land, but it is also possible by the sea. The trip would take longer by sea, so if you do wish for this, you would have to leave much sooner." There was a tremor in her mother's voice as she presenting this idea.

Emma knew what her mother was doing, and couldn't stop the tears from finally coming. Her mother was willing to let her go early if it meant that she could enjoy her last few months before her marriage. Her mother had tears in her eyes as well.

Emma had not truly considered traveling by sea, but the more she thought about it, the more the idea appealed to her. For several months she would be free of the responsibilities of a princess. The sea had always seemed so dangerous to her, but now it seemed like freedom. She was going to miss her mother when she left, but her departure was imminent either way. She would have a chance to be free for a little while if she chose this.

Her silence seemed to provide her mother with the answer she needed, because she pulled her tighter and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll find a crew and escort in the morning."

oOoOo

A week later the plans were still being finalized. The crew had been procured, and her escort chosen. One of the older maids would be accompanying her so she was not on a ship full of men alone. Her mother had chosen a simple navy vessel to transport her. It would have all of the weapons necessary to keep her safe, but it would also be inconspicuous. Nobody would be looking for a princess on a ship.

Her mother had personally gone through all the reports of the sailors and picked the best crew for her to travel with. As far as her mother could tell, the men were respectful sailors who had served the kingdom honorably. The queen was going to meet with the captain and lieutenant the day after next, and if she approves of them, then Emma will meet them. It would be another month before they set sail, but Emma was sure the time would move quickly. Then she would be at sea for nine months before arriving at her intendeds' castle a month before the wedding.

Her mother approved of the men and invited them to dinner to meet the princess. With her limited exposure to men, Emma was anxious about the dinner. She would have to sit through an entire meal with them. Of course, she would also be stuck on a ship with them for ten months, so it would be good to get to know them now. If she didn't trust them, her mother would start looking for a different crew.

The night of the dinner, she dressed in her finest gown. The gown had been bought with the intention of wearing it to a ball, but the occasion had never arisen. The floor length dress was ruby red, with a fitted bodice. Sparkling gems gathered around the neckline and waistband, showing off her figure. She teased her hair so the curls cascaded around her shoulders and down her back.

She had never had much reason to dress up before, and as loath as she was to admit it, she had enjoyed getting ready for the dinner. Her nerves had calmed at the least.

She usually took the steps two at a time, but the dress restricted such movement. If she tried it would most likely end in a face plant. When she arrived at the dining hall, her mother was already there. She was standing and talking to two men in uniforms. She could not see their faces from the doorway, but they appeared young. Their backs were straight and stiff, and they appeared to be speaking only when addressed for a question.

Taking a deep breath, Emma stepped into the hall. She walked towards her mother, only seeing them men in her peripheral vision. Once she had curtseyed at her mother's side, Emma faced the captain and lieutenant. The captain was a little older than Emma had originally thought perhaps late twenties. His hair was dark and curled and his skin tanned. His looks gave the impression of many nights on the sea, which probably was true.

She turned her gaze toward the lieutenant. He couldn't be a day older than twenty. He had a boyish look to his face, though the light scruff helped him to appear older. Finally looking him fully in the face, she caught his eyes and gasped lightly. They were blue. Startling blue, really. Only once in her life had she seen such a beautiful pair of eyes, and she knew that such eyes could only be found on one person. The lieutenant was the same man she had literally run into at the port.

His eyes were wide as well, but if he recognized her, he didn't let it known. As her mother introduced her, the lieutenant turned his attention back to the queen. The captain, Liam Jones, bowed to her and took her hand. He kissed it quickly before releasing her. The lieutenant did the same, but she was too busy staring intently to catch his name. The feeling of his lips on her hand sent a shock through her body. But his captain had just done the same and she had felt nothing then.

Once they were sitting, Emma ate in silence. Captain Jones spoke with the queen about the course of the journey they were about to undertake. The waters would be rough for the first month, but there were plenty of nearby landings that they ship could rest on in the case of an emergency. Emma was listening so intently to her mother and the captain that she hadn't realized the lieutenant had yet to speak. Her mother must have noted the same thing, for she turned to address the lieutenant.

"And how long have you been serving in our navy?" Her voice was kind and inquisitive.

The lieutenant straightened even more in his seat. "Four years, You're Majesty."

This was the first time she had heard his voice since their first meeting. She had almost forgotten the accent that he spoke with. His voice was soft, though not timid. It was a pleasant sound, and she wanted to hear it again. Without thinking about what she was saying, she addressed him. "A navy lieutenant in four years? That is impressive."

She hadn't meant to say that, and she especially hadn't meant for it to come out slightly breathless. Thankfully her audience seemed to take it as nervousness and no comment was made.

The lieutenant gave her a small smile and shook his head. "If I have done well it is only because I have had good teachers."

The captain scoffed. "Forgive me for speaking up, my queen, but my brother is far too humble. He was top of his class during school, and had proved himself at every task he is presented with."

Brother? She must have missed that when she was dazed during the introductions. And if he indeed was top of his class, then his brother was right, he was too humble. There were hundreds of applicants to the naval academy, and to be top of the class was an accomplishment.

Her mother must have agreed. "I have read both of your records, and they are exemplary. It is one of the reasons I chose you for this task. The other is your reputation as respectful and honorable sailors."

The captain nodded his thanks, and the lieutenant blushed slightly. She needed to figure out his name. It didn't seem right to keep thinking of him as the lieutenant. Using her inherent boldness, Emma decided the best route was just to ask. Besides, she would get to hear him speak again.

"I would love to hear about some of your travels, Captain Liam Jones and Lieutenant…I'm sorry, I didn't catch your full name." Emma cringed at her pathetic attempt to learn his name, but it sounded better than saying she was so distracted by his eyes that she hadn't caught his name.

"Killian Jones, my lady." He supplied gently. He didn't seem fazed that she hadn't remembered his name. Instead it seemed like he was used to having to repeat this information. "And I am sure Captain Jones would have the best stories to share."

He was being humble again, and it irked Emma. Why couldn't the man just take a compliment? The conversation between her mother and the captain continued, but she was too busy staring at Killian to notice. No one seemed to notice her diverted attention, not even the man it was focused on, who was looking at his brother.

Contrary to what she had expected, Emma felt the dinner had ended too soon. She wanted to spend more time listening to stories about the high seas and the adventures the captain and lieutenant had. And, she admitted to herself, she also wanted to keep looking at the lieutenant. He was a handsome man, though a strange one. She had always assumed men boasted about their successes, but the young lieutenant seemed rather shy about sharing his own. She was going to enjoy getting to know him in the next ten months.

Her mother couldn't have chosen a better crew.

Changing into one of her sleeping gowns, Emma laid in her bed thinking on the night. If she was going to be at sea for the next few months, she couldn't have picked a better captain herself. Listening to Captain Jones talk about his travels, and also the work of his little brother, Emma had grown confident in their ability to safely take her to her prison.

Her door creaked open and the queen entered. Unlike days ago, she did not approach Emma's bed, but stood by the door. "What is your opinion on Captain Jones and Lieutenant Jones?"

Emma considered the question before she answered. "I believe they are trustworthy men. Both were polite and respective at dinner. I trust them to do their job well."

Her mother nodded. "I agree. Captain Jones is an excellent captain and has proven he is capable of important tasks. The Lieutenant Jones has not yet had as many opportunities, but he has risen quickly through the ranks, and all of his previous superiors have said the same about him."

Emma expected her mother to continue, but when she did not, Emma pressed. "And what do they say about him?"

Her mother raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "He is the most straightforward and by the books young man they have encountered in the academy. Humble as well, this was evident last night. I don't know what to make of him. His brother is the perfect sailor both in skill and mannerism. Lieutenant Jones does not act like a lieutenant."

Emma wanted to argue that Killian was a fine sailor, but she had no evidence against this. "I thought you said his record is exemplary?"

"It is. It is his shyness that makes his rank a surprise. Once you reach a certain ranking, and especially as quickly as he, there is an overconfident aura that usually surrounds you." There was nothing wrong with that! Her mother continued. "Which is why I plan on asking him to be your personal guard."

Emma could hear her heart pounding. Her mother must have mistaken her shocked look as panic, for paused to reassure her. "If you do not wish for him to be your guard, I will ask another. But do consider that he is an excellent swordsman and proven gentleman. I do not think you will find a better man for the task. He is a quiet man as well, so you will most likely not even notice his presence."

Oh, she would notice him. Every second he was around her, she would notice him. There was a high chance she wouldn't be able to relax for the entire nine months if he were guarding her. "No, no, I do agree with you. I was merely surprised that you had already decided on this. From what I have seen of Lieutenant Jones, he appears to be an honorable man."

Pleased with her answer, her mother bid her goodnight. Emma had been ready for bed until her mother brought up Lieutenant Jones. Huffing, Emma turned over violently in bed. She had only just met the man! They had never even had a real conversation! But he intrigued her. Despite his abilities and position, he seemed to dislike attention. He was a man with a story, that much was evident. What was also evident was that he was a man who would not willingly share that story. It only made her want to know more.

His blue eyes and handsome face certainly didn't hurt matters.

oOoOo

Emma had expected to see more of the crew before heading out, but she had been too busy spending time with her mother to visit the port. Currently, she and her mother were walking in the palace gardens, discussing the final plans of her departure.

"We will be sending an ambassador across the lands as well. I do not want to put you in danger by having every man know what road you are taking and how you will get there. The ambassador will be a decoy, allowing you to leave on the ship unnoticed. Once you are out to sea, no one should know who you are until you arrive at the Dark One's kingdom. The crew is the only exception."

Emma nodded. "Any time we encounter someone, I will introduce myself as Emma Swan, like we talked about. I don't think it will be too hard to hide this. I mean, how difficult can it be to be a commoner?"

Her mother laughed, which was Emma's intent. The truth was, she had no idea how she was going to pull of acting like a commoner. She had barely interacted with them as it was. She would be taking tips from the maid accompanying her on how to act.

"And what of my guard?" Emma ventured to ask. The topic of a guard had not been brought up since they agreed to it almost four weeks ago.

"I have spoken with Captain Jones, and he has agreed that the lieutenant will be an excellent guard for you. I trust the crew well enough, but I want the lieutenant to be close to you at all times. I have told the captain that you do not wish to displace him, so you will be staying in the first mates quarters. This will help to avoid suspicion, since a lady would not get the captains quarters, but a gentleman might give up his." And Killian Jones was nothing but a gentleman from her observation.

"Where will the lieutenant sleep?" She did not like the idea of displacing him either, but the idea of sleeping in a room of strangers did not sit well with her.

There was an apple tree in the garden that her mother stopped to pick a fruit off of. Cleaning it off, she bit into it before answering. "I have been thinking hard on this. Eve will be sleeping in the crew's quarters. Since it is a naval ship, there are several rooms off of the sleeping quarters for when woman are on board, though none fit for a princess. However, I do not want Lieutenant Jones far from you at any time.

"After thinking about this for some time, I have asked for a partition to be put up in the first mate's quarters. The room will be smaller, but Lieutenant Jones will be close by in the case of any emergency."

Emma knew what her mother was hinting at. While she fully trusted the captain and lieutenant, the rest of the crew wasn't as well known. In case any of them tried something, Killian would be close by. Emma shivered. She would spend the next nine months almost constantly by the side of the man who had been invading her thoughts. It would be a long nine months. But then again, on the other side of the trip would be her wedding, so maybe long was good.

"Lieutenant Jones will still have his normal duties to attend to, which you will have to stick close by him for."

oOoOo

Her last day at home was filled with such melancholy, Emma was sure she was coming down with a fever. The day dragged by, yet her time with her mother went by too quickly. It seemed like only a day had passed since the plan was first made to today. Emma hugged her mother tight, wishing she never had to say goodbye. It would be too good to be true if her mother was able to be at her wedding. But the kingdom could not spare its queen for such a long period of time.

"You are beautiful, my swan." Her mother whispered. A tear escaped Emma's eye at her comment. "Do not ever forget that I love you and wish you the greatest happiness. Please send a letter when you have safely arrived."

Emma nodded against her mother's neck. "I love you too, Mother. I'll let you know as soon as we arrive in the kingdom."

"I will miss you, darling." Her mother's voice was strained.

"I'll miss you too, but this isn't goodbye forever, right? We will see each other more when the kingdom's are united."

Her mother pulled back and nodded. "You are an amazing young woman, Emma. I am so proud to have the chance to be your mother."

Emma didn't want to leave, but the schedule was tight. She couldn't be seen boarding the ship, so it was important that she make it to port before the crowds grew. To avoid suspicion, she and her mother had to say goodbye now. Her mother pressed a kiss to her cheek before giving her one last hug.

"Until the future comes." Her mother whispered. Until they saw each other again.

Without looking back, Emma left through the castle doors. For the first time in her life, she was free from the pressures of being a princess. The port was nearly empty when Emma arrived on the _Jewel of the Realm_. The crew was at work readying the sails and tying ropes around the deck. Ahead of her, Captain Jones and Lieutenant Jones were making their ways toward her.

She hadn't seen either man since the night of the dinner. Neither of their appearances had changed, except perhaps Lieutenant Jones' facial hair was more pronounced. The captain bowed to her before dismissing her escort. She was safe now onboard.

"We are pleased to have you onboard, Princess Emma." Captain Jones had a carefree smile on his face, like he escorted princesses on a daily basis. It helped to calm Emma's nerves that this man wasn't showing any worry about the journey.

Next to him stood the lieutenant. Killian, as Emma had been calling him in her mind. He was dressed in a similar uniform to the one he wore during the dinner. "Good morning, Princess." He bowed slightly. He seemed more relaxed outside of the queen's presence. "I understand I am to keep watch over you for the entirety of the journey. I promise you I will do everything in my ability to keep you safe."

"Thank you, Lieutenant Jones, I am sure that you will." And she really did have no doubt that he would protect her.

Captain Jones nodded toward to back of the ship. "My lieutenant will take you down to your sleeping quarters so you can get settled. We will be setting sail within the hour."

Emma nodded and followed Lieutenant Jones toward the stairs. Below deck she walked the halls and turned several corners before arriving at the former first mates room. "I don't know how you manage to navigate on the ship. I have no idea how we got here!" Emma exclaimed. If it was up to her, she would never find her way back to the deck.

Beside her, Killian laughed. It was a carefree sound, the first she had ever heard from him. "You'll get used to it, I assure you. I've lived on this ship for a while now. I'm sure it'll feel like home soon."

Emma wasn't sure she wanted it to fell like home or not. If this became home, then it would be even harder to leave at the end of the journey. Killian seemed to understand her thoughts, because he gave her a slow smile. "Or this place could be so awful that you cannot wait to run into your betrothed arms at the end of it."

The comment was hardly appropriate for a navy lieutenant to say, but she couldn't help it. She laughed and returned his smile. It registered to her that the only reason he said anything was because he felt she needed cheering up. The comment worked, and it surprised her at how well he understood her. She turned toward the door, with a smile still on her face.

"So this is my room?" She asked as he pushed the door in.

"Technically, this is my room." He replied quickly. That's right; she was kicking him out of his room. The room was small. There was a single bed in one corner and barely enough space for a dresser. To the left of the bed was a door, which must lead to the adjoining room. "And this part is still mine. I thought it would be safer to give you the room on the inside."

Emma smirked. "So any evil men who come after me have to get through you first?"

"You better hope I'm not a light sleeper." She laughed before a thought caught her off guard. They were _flirting_. That was hardly appropriate. Her demeanor must have changed, because the lieutenant straightened up and walked towards to other door. On the other side was a larger room. This one contained a bed, dresser, and a desk, with a small window that overlooked the sea.

"Who divided the room so unevenly?" Emma asked.

He looked down at his feet. "I choose the arrangements. It is nothing compared to what you have at home, but I thought it would be the most comfortable. I tried to get a door added to this so the rooms are completely separate, but we didn't have time for any more construction."

Her heart picked up speed. He had thought of what would comfort her most and keep her safe. He had not only given up his privacy, but he had also allowed for her to take over his room and have most of the luxuries he should have as lieutenant. His room was barely a closet now.

Without thinking, she reached for his hand. He looked up, startled, but not pulling away. His eyes were what she had noticed first about him, but she had never gotten the chance to stare into them before. They were the brightest blue she had ever seen. It looked like what she assumed the ocean was like on a calm day. His hand in hers was warm and calloused from long days working on ships. "Thank you, Lieutenant Jones." She whispered finally. For what exactly, she no longer knew.

Neither did he apparently, for he stared at her saying nothing. His eyes stayed on her face, but his gaze moved from her eyes. It seemed to drift over her entire face before settling on her eyes once again. "Killian." He whispered back. It took her a moment to realize what he was saying. He was giving her permission to call him by his name.

"Alright." She smiled softly. "Killian."

It was the first time she had spoken his given name out loud, and she liked the way it sounded. His eyes seemed brighter than a second ago. Emma had no idea what possessed her to do it, but she took a step forward, a step closer to him. Whatever spell was on them must have been broken with her step, because he moved back and dropped his gaze.

"Is there anything that you need, princess?" He asked her professionally.

She shook her head, but then realized he wasn't looking at her. "No. I would like to get settled for a minute, and then see the ship leave port."

Killian nodded before stepping back. "I'll be on my side of the door. Please, if you need anything at all, let me know."

Emma had a feeling she would be taking him up on that offer a lot in the near future.

**A/N: I absolutely love Lieutenant Duckling, and there is not enough of it. I have all of this story planned out, but sometimes my mind gets away from me, so I have no idea how long this will be. This is the longest chapter I have ever written at once, so I hope it is good. ****I cannot wait until OUAT returns! This story is going to be my attempt to deal with the hiatus the writers have decided to leave us with.**

**Please review! I want to know what my readers think, and also what I need to do to improve.**


	2. Chapter 2

The plan was to unpack her belongings and go up on deck to see the ship take off. Her clothing had been placed inside the dresser already and all of the personal items she had chosen to bring were in a chest on the desk. She had looking through everything, checking that it was all there before settling in on the bed. It hadn't been a long day, but she was already tired. Saying goodbye to her mother had been emotionally exhausting. Sitting for a second was a welcome relief.

Emma jerked awake, her head pounding. She hadn't meant to fall asleep, she must've been more tired than she had suspected. She glanced out the single window in the room. The town was still visible through the small porthole, which meant that she had at least not slept through their departure. The pounding persisted, and she realized it wasn't in her head. Someone as knocking at her door, and a good guess said it was Killian.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, cradling her head as she did so. She had moved too quickly, and the room was now spinning. The spinning slowed down enough for her to raise her head. "Come in." She called through the door.

Her guess was right and Killian poked his head through the doorway. "I need to be up on deck when we set sail. It would be best if you join the captain and me on deck." He spoke formally, though he was not cold at all. He seemed to appraise her and notice her appearance. An apologetic frown came across his face. "I didn't mean to wake you, princess. My apologies." He bowed his head in respect.

Emma shook her head. Her hands were at work smoothing out her dress. "Don't be sorry. I can't believe I actually fell asleep. Please give me a moment to fix my appearance and I will be out."

"Oh, I don't see a problem with your look at all, princess." She swore she saw him wink as he closed the door.

Her hair was a disaster, and her dress definitely looked like it had been slept in. Ha! No problem with her look. "Very funny, lieutenant. And don't call me princess!" She wasn't sure he heard her, but it felt nice to be able to freely yell after him. She had to fight a grin as she changed her dress and made her way up to the deck.

The activity on the deck had increased since her arrival. Crew members were scurrying across deck, seemingly heading in every direction at once. Each step they took was with direction and purpose. The sails were being readied and the ship was being untethered from the port. Emma searched the deck for Killian, expecting difficultly finding him, but he was not but ten feet from the staircase. Of course he was close by. If she knew one thing about him, it was that he had a strong sense of duty, and for the next nine months that duty included keeping her safe.

She caught his eye and he jerked his head to the side. She looked to where he had indicated and saw the captain standing at the helm. She made her way toward Liam, Killian following behind her. Liam bowed to her quickly as she approached, before straightening once again.

"I hope everything is to your liking. Please do inform me or my lieutenant if you need anything."

"Everything is just fine, thank you." Honestly, how hard was everyone trying to please her? In the palace she had only ever encountered the guards and servants. They had either been kind to her, or ignored her presence. They all did their duty, but none of them were there to only do her bidding. Most of the time they followed her mother's orders and simply done her job. She decided she didn't like being catered to. It didn't feel right.

"We will be leaving port in just a short while. Do you wish to wave goodbye to the shore as we are leaving?" Liam motioned to the side of the ship.

He suggested it like it was something people commonly did when sailing, though she supposed it must be. People saying goodbye for any period of time, whether temporary or permanent, usually waved to the people and land they were leaving behind. So why didn't saying goodbye appeal to her? Why was she so ready to leave this land behind without a second glance? It had been her home for her entire life, and she had frequently snuck out to roam the kingdom's village.

So why? It wasn't as easy a question to answer as the captain must have thought, and she was quickly realizing it was one she didn't want to find the answer to. It was Killian who saved her from having to answer. "I don't mean to speak for you," Killian said directly to her. "But since your passage on this ship is meant to be a secret, it will be best if you do not get too close to the railing. We wouldn't want anyone to recognize you, lass."

Two emotions surged through Emma. The first was offense at having her decision taken away from her. It was her choice whether to say goodbye or not, and how dare Killian take that away from her! But then she caught his eye over Liam's shoulder. His eyes showed his concern, like he wanted to make sure she was alright. It hit her that he hadn't spoken up because he thought it wasn't a good idea, but because he saw her struggle. He had seen that she didn't know what to do, and that her struggle was so much more than just saying goodbye or not. She didn't know what else to do, so she mouthed a silent thank you, which he took with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I am going to address the crew and make certain final preparations are made. I know this is usually your responsibility, Lieutenant, but today I wish for you to stand by Princess Emma. I will be back shortly." Liam gave a short bow before heading toward his crew.

"That does leave me with a question, lass." Killian leaned back against the railing of the ship.

"And what might that be?" Emma asked.

"If your identity is to be kept secret until we arrive at the Dark One's kingdom, then what are we to call you? While I know the crew would be respectful and call you princess, I don't believe it will be practical." Killian spoke gently, like he was afraid he would offend her again.

"Well then, it is good fortune that I have already discussed this matter with the queen. I will go by the name of Emma Swan while we are aboard this ship. The crew can just call me Emma. Surely I am not the only young woman with the name of Emma in all the realms?" Emma teased lightly.

Killian laughed quietly. "I am quite certain you are one of a kind, Emma Swan. How did you come up with the name Swan, if you don't mind me asking?"

Emma shook her head. "My mother would often call me her swan. Going by this name is like holding on to a small piece of her while we are traveling."

She hadn't meant to divulge such intimate knowledge to him. She waited in dread for him to comment on her relationship with her mother, whom she did not want to talk about. He didn't say anything though, only nodded and looked out over the village they would soon be leaving behind.

"Our orders are to sail as directly as possible. There will still be necessary stops on our voyage, though. Food and supplies will need to be restocked several times, and if there is any damage done to the ship in bad weather, we will need to dock for repairs." Killian explained. He was acting like their earlier conversation had never happened. "Our first stop at a port will be in a month's time."

A month was a long time to be at sea. At least it was for her, who had never sailed for any period of time before. But then, she had never traveled before, always stuck inside the castle with her occasional ventures outside. What difference would a month be on this ship than it already was in the castle? Her mother's absence was the only difference, and sadly that was a small one. While Emma never traveled, the queen would frequently be called away for different duties. Emma was alone more often than not. At least here she would have a constant companion, though she wondered how long it would be before she tired of his presence.

How would she fill the long hours of the day? There were few places to explore on a ship, and while she knew how to embroider or sew, it was hardly something she found enjoyment in. She remembered her mother telling her she would be trailing the lieutenant. "What will we be doing during our time at sea?"

"The queen asked me to stay close to you on this journey, but I still have my duties aboard this ship. Captain Jones and I have discussed it and we agree that it would be best if you simply stand or sit nearby while I am busy, and when my shift is over, I will be at your mercy for the remainder of the day."

She had expected as much when she learned she was to follow him, but the plan he presented didn't sound pleasing to her in the slightest. "I do not want to sit around all day long, waiting for the hours to tick by. I want to do something. Anything that you can teach me I will be happy to learn and help do." Learning the basics of sailings would at least be something to combat boredom.

Killian widened his eyes at her request. "It is hardly proper for a young lady to learn the workings of a ship. But, if it is your wish, then I will make sure you are taught well."

He might have scolded her in his own quiet way, but at least he was allowing her to learn. "I learn quickly, so you don't need to worry about me getting in the way."

Killian sighed. "Very well, then. Do you know much about constellations and using a compass?"

"A basic course in princessing always includes how you navigate the stars on a ship to meet your betrothed. It's fundamental course work." She looked at him in a way that she hoped inferred that of course she knew nothing about constellations and compasses.

He laughed, genuinely amused at her response. She liked the sound of his laughter, and she savored hearing it. Something told her that laughing was not something Killian Jones took much part in. A crew member glanced their way, but both she and Killian ignored him.

"I guess that will be a good starting point, lass. I will be assisting the captain when it comes to setting the course and navigating the seas."

"Why do you always call him captain? Does the crew not know that he is your brother?"

His eyes were still shining with mirth when he looked at her. "Having a captain and a lieutenant named Jones probably gave them a hint." He teased. "So, yes, they know. On board this ship he is my captain first and foremost. Though he does enjoy throwing in an occasional reminder that I am his little brother, I tend to believe it is just for his own amusement."

"And how old are you?" Emma hadn't meant to ask. It was a terribly personal question to ask someone their age, even if it was information that she could have easily found out from his records. She had never actually read them, instead trusting her mother's instinct and her own opinion on the two men in charge. Her mother had said that Killian had risen through the ranks remarkably fast. Four years? If she was right, then he couldn't be much older than she.

If he found the question to be too personal, he gave no indication of it. "I will be twenty-one in a short while. I joined the naval academy the first day I was eligible to." He stood up from the rail he had been leaning on. "And why do you care?"

She should've known he would wonder about the question. It was not something anyone proper asked, but she had asked the harmless question anyway. She didn't have an answer to his question, but her reply was out before she could stop it. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Killian caught her eye, freezing her to her spot. Unlike before when his eyes had shone with his laughter, they now had a depth to them that she didn't understand. Whatever it was held her in her place. He had no smirk or hidden laughter when he replied, "Perhaps I would."

Footsteps sounded and they both turned to see Liam approaching them. Whatever spell had bound them was broken, leaving an uncomfortable silence in the air. She had thought to throw him off of questioning her with her reply, but he had just managed to unbalance her in return. She walked to the lower deck, following behind a crew member. She wished she could see Killian, but he was behind her. Whatever had just happened, it was simply because she was unused to being around a man. As she spent time with the crew, she would start to understand how to talk to a man and none of the strange butterflies she felt around Killian would persist.

oOoOo

The first night she struggled to sleep. Killian had said that she would need her rest, and she believed him, but that didn't make it any easier. The swaying of the ship was comforting, but the waves were too loud for her to rest. Perhaps it was the unfamiliar settings that gave her unease, or that she was used to a more comfortable sleeping chamber. Whatever it was, she did not feel rested at all when morning came.

She knew that she slept, for once again she woke up to someone pounding on the door. She knew it must be Killian. Glancing out the window, she saw the sun was already in the sky. She called for him to give her a minute as she dressed and fixed her hair for the day. It was amazing how horrendous her hair become overnight. Sure enough it was Killian at the door when she opened it. He led her to what he called the chow hall and showed her where to get food. The entire time he made small talk and gave her pointers on how to remember the locations of things aboard the ship.

She was halfway through eating her own plate when she realized he had no food on his. He chuckled to himself when she asked him if he was going to eat. "I've been up for hours, lass. Since your door was locked and we have already set sail, I figured it was safe to speak with Captain Jones briefly. I ate with him." And that was that.

True to his word, Killian showed her some of the simpler parts of sailing. As he spoke with Liam, charting a course, Emma watched and tried to learn the different directions and how to tell where each was based on the location of the sun. Apparently the sun could also be used to tell time accurately, though she wasn't sure how the guessed anything but morning, noon, and night.

By the end of the day she was exhausted in a way that she hadn't believed possible. She had never been required to work or stand for long hours before. The events of the day exhausted her, and she was sure the next day would be the same. She now understood why Killian had insisted she sleep well the night before. Working on a ship was exhausting! It was no wonder most sailors were young and in good shape.

Emma giggled, despite her sleep. She could only imagine showing up at her betrothed's kingdom in nine months, dressing and talking like a sailor. The idea was ludicrous, though not necessarily unpleasant. She finally fell asleep with that image behind her eyes.

The day after passed much the same and the ones that followed as well. Emma had gotten to know the crew as well, speaking with them when Killian and Liam were deep in conversation or during the meals. The crew were all nice, though some more talkative than others. At supper one of the nights, a crew member had too much to drink starting spewing profanities and making too much noise. Killian had pulled her away from the chow hall and brought her to her room, apologizing for the behavior of the man. Emma had been too distracted by his hand on her elbow to even notice an apology.

After that incident, no one aboard the ship drank, nor was profanity used. She suspected this was more because Liam and Killian didn't want her to have to listen to them, rather than it actually bothering either one, though Killian had expressed at times a disdain for rum. 'Bad form' was usually all he said about that.

It was several weeks into the trip when Emma realized time was starting to fly too quickly. The day after next would mark their first stop at a port since they had left. One month of her nine month break was over; she now had only eight months left until the ship docked for the final time. She wished time could slow down, but no matter how slowly time went, the day would still come.

"Will we all be going ashore tomorrow?" Emma asked. She was watching Killian, who was hunched over a map, probably looking for the safest area to dock on the upcoming port. He had explained that it was an outlying village. The king was generous, but due to its distance from the kingdom thievery was sometimes an issue. They would dock overnight, but someone would remain on this ship at all times.

He didn't answer her question immediately. A month ago she would have accused him of ignoring her, but now she knew him better. He was concentrating on the map and his plans. When he was focused on something, it would take him some time to register that someone was speaking to him. It was a quirk of his that she had noticed over time. She had picked up on several of them, like how his brow would furrow when he was thinking, or he would raise his brows when he was curious.

If anyone accused him of not being an attentive guard due to his single-minded concentration, they would be wrong. One day there had been a passing ship going by. A loud _bang_ had sounded, sending everyone into a panic. Faster than anyone else could move, Killian was at her side, sword drawn. It turned out to be a false alarm, but Emma had been glad for it. Knowing how quickly Killian had reacted had reassured her that he had an eye on her.

He straightened up and took a step away from the map. "The crew usually gathers the supplies. Captain Jones will be staying on the ship. He has given me the day off of any responsibilities, so going on land will be your choice." He raised his eyebrow at her. "What do you plan on doing?"

"It seems like a good idea. I am not used to being on a ship for so long, so I would like to be on land for a bit." Emma sighed. "Besides, I have never been able to freely walk through a village. I would like to be able to roam freely for a time."

"Very, well, lass. We will go into town tomorrow. And this time you don't have to worry about running into poor sailors." He winked at her.

Her face flushed. She had been doing that a lot lately. When she had arrived on this ship she was certain that the butterflies she felt in her stomach would only be temporary. But here she was, one month later and a smile or wink from him still sent her heart racing. The worst part was that none of the other men on the ship caused the same confusion in her. She had spoken to the crew a bit now, and Liam several times, but none of them had ever caused her thoughts to go haywire like he did.

Her thoughts had been so consumed with him that it took her a minute to comprehend what he said. "Wait!" She yelled. "You recognized me? " He had never given any indication before that he recognized her from that day at the port.

He gave her a lazy grin. "It's hard to forget someone who plows into you and then runs off before you can check on them."

"Well…" She sputtered. "If you hadn't been in my way, I wouldn't have run into you."

"Ah, I do believe I was minding my own business when you cam hurtling into me." He retorted.

"You? Doing your duty and minding your own business? I never would've believed it." She gasped in mock shock. He chuckled at her. She glared, but couldn't keep the grin that broke out across his face. "I guess I left quite an impressing being so rude to you.

"Trust me, the impression you left had nothing to do with you being rude." He spoke it softly, like he hadn't meant for her to hear. He briefly caught her gaze before looking down. For what felt like the millionth time, her heart pounded faster than normal. Why did he keep doing this to her?

She felt a pull toward him, and she took a step forward, unconsciously fulfilling the need to be closer to him. He looked at her face again, before moving to step closer. His hair was disheveled, uncommon for him, and she fought the urge to fix it. Giving up, she reached her hand out, hesitating. It was her hesitation that broke the spell. Killian took a step back, and looked over her shoulder and across the deck. Anywhere but at her.

Clearing his throat, he turned back toward the map. "We will dock around mid-morning tomorrow and the stay will be overnight. It will be best if you sleep aboard the ship tomorrow night."

Emma wanted to scream at him, ask him what just happened. He was her friend, at least she assumed so. They spoke every day, and it wasn't always trivial things. She had never shared anything personal, but neither had he. They just spoke about what was going on, or something stupid that someone onboard had done. They had even been able to share some stories about their pasts, like something Killian experienced in the naval academy, or one of her failed attempts to sneak outside. Those were all things friends did. She didn't think, however, that friends felt drawn to each other in the way she was drawn to him. She felt like she had a connection with him, and it scared her sometimes. But more than anything, she just wanted to know if he felt the connection as well.

Sleep didn't come easy that night. She was too excited about the upcoming trip that it took her hours to relax. When she finally did fall asleep, her dreams were full of all of the possibilities tomorrow might hold. The setting of her dreams changed, but all of them had the same theme: freedom. And Killian Jones had a starring role in all of them.

She didn't sleep long. The next morning she awoke long before the sun was in the sky. Instead of sleeping in, she dressed quickly and made her way to the door adjoining hers and Killian's room. She knocked on the door, waiting for him to respond. When he didn't, she knocked harder.

"Give me a second!" He called from the other side of the door. His words were slurred. She supposed that was fair, since she most likely just woke him up. Within a second he was telling her to come in.

He was sitting on his bed, rubbing his face when she walked in. Half of his hair was stuck flat to his face, while the other was sticking up. His shirt was loose, and she realized that he had probably told her to give him that moment so that he could throw it on. He looked up at her, and struggled to fight a giggle from escaping. He looked like he was still half asleep.

"I thought you weren't a heavy sleeper." She couldn't help teasing.

He groaned. "Didn't sleep."

That thought concerned her. She hadn't slept well because she had been excited; she doubted he had been even half as excited as her. "What's wrong?"

He looked up at her, studying her as intensely as he could in his half-awake state. "Bad dream." He didn't say anything more, but she still had the feeling he had shared more than he would have with anyone else. He would tell her, in time. Her only fear was that there wouldn't be enough.

He sighed. "Give me a moment to get ready, lass."

She nodded and shut herself back in her room, while he dressed properly. It felt like a moment later he was pulling the door open. He was dressed in his uniform, though he didn't have his jacket on. His hair was still a mess. He was probably too tired to even realize he hadn't fixed it. She chose not to tell him about it.

"Let's go see if we can spot the shore." She grabbed his arm, dragging him down the hall. She didn't trust that he would make it on his own right now. It was too early to stop and grab breakfast, so she dragged him toward the stairs. She had always wanted to go out on the deck at night, but she had been too tired. As she climbed onto the deck, she wished she hadn't missed out on seeing this before. The water glistening in the moonlight was beautiful. She had never seen anything as peaceful as the waves rocking into the ship.

"Why do you always insist that that I need to be in bed at this time?" She glanced around. "Where is the shore? I thought it would be visible now."

"I have an idea." Killian said. "Follow me."

She didn't ask where he was going; she just followed him to the lookout. He climbed in front of her. Climbing the ladder wasn't easy in a dress, but she managed to the top without slipping on a rung. The lookout was the highest point on the ship, so it would provide the best view. The problem was that it was built for one person to stand in it, saying it was cramped would be an understatement. There was barely enough room for both of them to stand, keeping them in close proximity.

She was acutely aware of his presence behind her. He radiated heat, something that she became even more aware of as the wind chilled her. Her back was warm, and she was certain that if she leaned back just an inch, she would be pressing against him. He was a few inches taller than her, putting his mouth by her hear. She could both feel and hear his breathes. They were warm against the side of her cheek. For the first time since she met him, she could smell him. She wasn't sure what she expected, but he smelled of salt water and some sort of spice. She didn't know what it was, but she would forever associate it with him.

"Look." He whispered, though it sounded like a shout in her ear. She had been so distracted that she had forgotten why they were up there in the first place. She felt her breath catch in her throat as she looked out on the water. From here she could see a faint glow of lights. That must be where the shore was. Each of those lights was probably a house or shop along the village. The lights were reflecting off the surface of the water, casting a luminous glow over the sea. Never in her life had she seen anything so beautiful. The sight was truly breathtaking.

For the first time in her life, it seemed like a wish she had made finally came true. For weeks she had been wishing for time to stand still, for there to be one moment that she could live in forever. The moon was still high in the sky, and there was no hint of the sun on the horizon. For just this short while, she was frozen in time. She could enjoy watching the sea, she had all the time in the world to enjoy it.

As she stood on the lookout, she chose not to think. This was her moment and she was going to live in it. She leaned back, allowing herself to rest against Killian. She felt him tense up, but almost immediately he relaxed. He was firm and steady behind her, keeping her body from swaying with the sea. They stayed against each other for what felt like forever.

But the moment had to end. Time hadn't actually stood still and as much as Emma wanted to hold onto this moment, she knew it was time to let it go. Killian nudged her gently. "We should get some breakfast." She nodded, having already come to the same idea. She stood up fully, already missing the feeling of him pressed against her. Her back felt cold in his absence.

The shore was closer now, having slowly crept up on them during their viewing. A crew member – Smith, she thought – that was steering the ship. Emma faltered at the thought the he had been there the entire time and could see their escapade. Glancing up, she was relieved to see the top of the lookout was hard to see. Smith would have known they were up there, but he would not have been privy to her – their – moment.

If she were comparing breakfast to the start of her day, it could only be described as dull. The crew was lively, but Emma had interest in their conversations. Some of the men were talking about their plans for their day after they had finished stocking the ship. Most of them included trips to the tavern and finding other enjoyment for the night. She had been on the ship long enough to know what they meant. As breakfast went on, Killian seemed to get more somber. Each second seemingly putting him more on edge.

She was just finishing her food when Liam plopped down next to Killian. The captain seemed to be in a good mood. Not that he was usually in a bad one, just he didn't usually seem so chipper. She could've sworn she actually heard him humming. Another oddity was that Liam actually seemed to be planning to eat with them. While he occasionally had a meal with the crew, he mostly woke early and had breakfast in his cabin.

"Good morning, brother, Miss Swan." Liam smiled at them both before taking a bite of his biscuit.

She replied, and Killian grumbled a good morning. His mood seemed to be the opposite of his brother's. Killian was staring at his brother, his brow furrowed. He didn't say anything, only turned to finish his plate.

"I do say, brother, I was hoping you would be in better spirits. I might just have to get the entire crew to wish you a happy birthday." Liam continued eating as he spoke.

"Birthday?" Emma questioned. Killian turned away from his food and chose instead to glare at Liam. He appeared angry, which was a shock since he had never been anything but respectful to his brother. Apparently his birthday was not a day he wished to be known. Still it was a curious thing to hide your date of birth. "When were you going to tell me this?"

Killian didn't take his eyes off Liam. The saying 'if looks can kill?' Well, Liam would be dead. "I did. In a way." He finally looked over at her. He didn't appear angry, though his blue eyes were darker than usual. "I mentioned that it was soon, at least."

She had to strain her memory to remember when he might have said that. She remembered her first day on the ship, asking him how old he was. The question hadn't bothered him, and neither had telling her his birthday was upcoming. It must be the actual day that was the problem.

"My brother is far too shy for his own good. I do believe he is appalled at the thought of a day focused entirely on him." Liam spoke smugly, but she caught his glance at Killian. He was worried about his brother's sudden attitude. He was probably hoping to relax his brother, but his playful jabs did nothing.

"I'm going to get another biscuit." Killian announced before standing up.

Emma watched him walk away. His shoulders were hunched over, like he was shielding himself from something.

"Miss Swan." Liam looked at her and then behind him to Killian's retreating form. "I shouldn't be asking this of you, but can you do me a favor? I will forever be indebted to you." The request surprised her. Liam did not speak to her as a captain speaks to a princess, but as a friend. "My brother does not like this day that much must be obvious. I wish I hadn't said anything when I came down. I was so determined to make him laugh and smile that I forged ahead without thinking of the present company. His reasons for his disdain are his own, and while I do not blame him for them, I do wish that he wouldn't allow them to cloud his day. Normally I try to cheer him up when we are at sea, but my attempts are often unsuccessful as you just saw. Can you do me a favor and see if there is any why you can get him to lighten up some today?" Liam looked at her pleadingly. "You are a princess, and I have no right to ask this of you, but he is my brother. He is on orders to be with you during this journey, and I just ask that you find some way to get him to smile today."

Emma had never heard someone make a more desperate plea. Liam had spoken softly, not wanting to be overheard, but his words were clear. Emma wondered how long it had been that Killian dreaded this day. Most people saw their birthdays as times to celebrate or be spoiled, and she had a suspicion that even Killian had once enjoyed this day, despite his quiet nature.

Him having a bad dream this morning probably wasn't a coincidence. She knew Killian well enough to know he wasn't petty. Something must have happened to him or someone he knew on this day for it to be such as bad day for him. But she was determined to help.

"I will do my best to make sure this isn't a bad day. I wish I had known before I made the decision to go on land today." If Killian wanted to stay on board, then he should be able to stay.

Liam shook his head. "I know my brother. He loves the sea, but even he enjoys being on shore on our stops. If today were any other day he would be more animated." Behind him, Killian was coming back. "And thank you, Miss Swan, for keeping an eye on him today. I will forever be thankful."

For the time they had been up in the lookout, Killian had been in a good mood. They hadn't spoken while up there, but he had been relaxed and at peace, that much she knew. She just needed to figure out a way to get him relaxed while they were in the village.

Killian took the seat next to Liam again. "I'm going to pretend like you weren't talking about me." She wasn't sure if he was speaking to her or Liam.

Liam must have assumed him, because he replied. "Of course we were talking about you! What else do Miss Swan and I have in common to talk about?" With that the captain stood and left. Emma blushed at the implications in his statement that the one thing they had in common was they both cared for Killian.

She wasn't sure, but she thought Killian's face was slightly red as well.

**A/N: Okay, so they were actually supposed to spend most of the chapter on shore. A nice time skip would have brought them to the month later point, but no, Killian and Emma had other ideas. This chapter wrote itself in way. I have two drafts and each time I was re-writing the first draft, scenes kept being added. Yet, when I went over it, there was nothing I could cut out. This is one of my favorite chapters that I have ever written. I had so much _fun_ doing it, and fun isn't something I usually associate with writing over 6,000 words.**

**Like always, if you are enjoying this story, please let me know. I love hearing what people think of my work, so I would really appreciate it. Thank you again for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

As the shore grew closer, Emma contemplated different ways to cheer Killian up. After breakfast he had lost his attitude, but he still seemed to be upset. According to Liam, this was likely to last all day. It seemed strange to her that he should detest one single day of the year, but then she had never known one day to hold much significance. There was no singular important date in her life, though she wished there was. Her birthday was never celebrated, except for a gift from her mother, and no other days held any importance. She assumed her wedding day was one such day, but with her dreading the days leading up to the wedding, she had an inkling that it was not to be a happy day.

"Stay next to me when we disembark." Killian spoke quietly. He had said little since the ordeal that morning, both at breakfast and before. His voice wasn't hard or cold. It seemed like for now the unusual morning had been forgotten, or at least put behind him. He made no comments on their time together that early morning. She tried not to let this bother her, because she was sure that he had been enjoying himself as well given his relaxed state. Looking back on the moment, she was happy that at least the start of his day was good, if you excused the nightmares he surely had.

She spared a glance at him. His shoulders were tense, like he was expecting an attack from every side. She wondered if he was being on edge due to this day, or if it was because of their approaching stop.

The land was clear now. The village was quite small, though there were clearly crowds in some of the stores. This was probably one of the only posts for hours in these woods. The forest was thick behind the shops, and she felt a momentary panic rise up that had been instilled in her during her time at the palace. Wooded areas were dangerous. You never knew who or what was lurking behind the next tree, or what types of animals roamed freely. Tales of imps and dragons had long kept her from going as far as to hide in the forest surrounding her own kingdom.

Perceptive as he was, Killian took note of her tension. "If you do not wish to go anywhere, that is alright."

She shook her head. She did want to get off the ship, if only to breathe for a minute. "No, no, it's fine. What should we see first?" She hardly knew the first thing about towns and villages. Her mother had never shown her what the kingdom entailed.

Killian turned so he was fully facing her. "I am at your mercy today. Where would you like to go?"

"Not the woods." She admitted. It seemed a silly thing to say, especially since she had almost traveled by land. The idea of going on a trip through the woods seemed different than just walking into them. Killian did not give any indication that this was a strange request, which she appreciated. No need to make her feel even sillier. "To be honest, I have not traveled much. So because you are a far more experienced traveler, I do believe you should lead the way."

He gave a smile before turning with a mock scowl. "Very well, lass. Though I do find it hard to believe that a young princess would be willing to follow a mere navy lieutenant all throughout the town."

"I am no typical princess." She said haughtily. "And I would follow you anywhere."

"You might regret that." Killian was smiling again. Huh, and Liam had made it sound like this would be a chore.

Her face must have given away her thought, because he read her too easily. "Let us pretend that this is an ordinary day. If I can forget the date then town will be much more enjoyable."

She nodded, but her thoughts kept running. She didn't want him to enjoy the day despite the fact that it was his birthday. She wanted him to enjoy it because it was.

She watched him as he helped dock the ship, tying off ropes and putting out the ramp. While Killian was working, Liam approached her again. She knew that Killian could see them talking, for he never took his eyes off her. It was his job to watch her after all.

"Miss Swan, I do believe you are a miracle worker." Liam announced, his voice quiet. She understood that this conversation was for her ears only.

"Honestly I have done nothing. We have barely spoken since the incident this morning, though he has been pleasant." She looked over at Killian, who was currently hunched over working on a knot. "He wants to enjoy the day by ignoring his birthday. I do wish that he could enjoy this day as his birthday. From what I have observed lately, it seems like these days are important to most."

She heard Liam express his agreement. It was rude to not look at someone directly when you were talking, but Emma was too distracted by Killian to glance at his older brother. She found herself watching the way he tied the knots and moved about the ship. He was sturdy despite the ship still rocking, and his work was done quickly. He was a strong man. A smart one as well.

So engrossed was she that it took her a minute to realize Liam had called her name. Forcing her gaze to leave Killian, she looked over at Liam. He was watching her intently, curiosity in his eyes. His eyes were blue like his brothers, though a lighter shade. Nice, she supposed, though she preferred a blue that she could get lost in. Liam's eyes shifted to follow where her attention had been. When he saw Killian across the deck he did not say anything, but gave her another curious look before heading away.

She saw that Killian was making his way toward her again. "We can disembark now." He said. "I recommend just walking through the shops to start. At midday we can have a bite to eat and then decide on our next adventure."

She smiled at him, putting Liam's odd behavior in the back of her mind. She still had a mission to get Killian to enjoy every moment of this day.

He helped her down from the ship and offered her his arm once they were on the dock. He said that it would be safer if she was at his side, and while she agreed, she took it for different reasons. He tucked her hand away above his elbow, and she would have blushed if she wasn't set on figuring out what he would enjoy most that day.

As they entered the small town, she was impressed with how different it was than her own home. Back at home the shops were all built with stones, but here they were made of wood. The coloring of the wood was different from building to building, giving the town a diverse look. There also seemed to be no pattern to the shops. A cluster of four stood directly in front of her, but then wide spaces stretched before the next shop. Food, clothing, and any items that one could think to need were provided in the shops. She noticed a large building that read "Supplies and Necessities" and realized that was probably were the crew were buying.

She noticed when they passed the local tavern. A few men were loitering around outside of it, and one or two clearly had too much ale. One man had called after them, his remarks horribly raunchy. Killian pulled her closer to him then. For the next few shops she was practically glued to his side. It was only when they entered one of the shops that he relaxed and let go of her.

"I'm sorry about those men. I cannot believe the tavern is open at such an early hour."

"It's hardly your fault. Besides, I do believe that I have just furthered my understanding of the complex creature known as man." Emma joked.

He laughed before turning serious. "I do hope you know that not all men drink and are so crass."

"That I have seen." Emma turned away to look through the rows are newly hemmed dresses. "And I have met several men whom I can only describe at honorable."

She didn't have to look behind her to know that he was blushing. He might be able to understand her, but it was a two way street. They both had their pasts, but she knew him well enough to know how important honor was to him.

"Well," He finally replied. "You know what they say: drinking leads to bad form."

She could stop her laugh. Several other customers stared at her, and she ignored them. "I do believe you are the only person to say that."

She searched through the rows are dresses. Most of the styles were ones she had worn in the castle. Loose fitting, with bright colors, the dresses were made for nice social gatherings. They were the type of dresses she had worn when ambassadors or diplomats had come into the kingdom. She pushed past those, searching to see if she could find a hidden gem. There at the end of the row was a beautiful white gown. Examining it, she almost felt like crying. While the dress was not made to be a wedding dress, it was the type of dress she had often envisioned herself wearing when she married. It wasn't fluffy and big like the one her mother had picked out for her; instead this one had a fitted bodice with some lace around the waist band. The skirt of the dress overlapped to look like ripples. It reminded her of the white foam of the sea.

She must have vocalized her appreciation. Killian was behind her, peering at the dress as well. "I'll buy it."

She turned to face him, her eyes growing wide. "You can't do that!"

"And why not?" He was chuckling.

She tried to come up with an answer, but her mind wasn't working fast enough. "Because…it's just not right! And I have no reason to wear it."

Instead of laughing again, he gave her a sweet smile, like she was something precious. "There is nothing wrong with a gentleman purchasing a gift for a young woman. And I am positive there will be an event for you to wear this to once we reach our destination."

She argued more, but it was done. Killian spent his own hard earned money to buy her the dress she could only imagine as a wedding dress. He had assured her there would be some reason for her to wear it once they arrived, but she knew better. If she did not have an occasion to put on that beautifully simple dress before arriving at the Dark One's castle, then she would never wear it. It wasn't just that she already had a gown. No, Killian had bought this dress for her, and the thought of wearing it while married to another man disgusted her.

It was midday now, time passing much too quickly for her liking. She and Killian dropped the dress of at the ship before heading out again. They headed back into town for a meal, though this time their walk was in silence. Instead of walking past the tavern again, Killian led her through a side street that was smaller than she expected. In fact, it was no more than an alley lined with doorways. The children's toys littering the alley told her that this was a frequently visited spot by the kids of the village.

They slowed their pace while walking through the alley. Beside her, Killian looked thoughtful. Probing him, she finally got him to ask what was on his mind. "I was curious about your travels, is all. You said that you haven't traveled much. Where is it that you have traveled too?"

Emma stopped walking. Turning to face him she said, "Nowhere. I have never been out of the kingdom before."

Killian hesitated, like he wanted to ask a follow up question but was unsure how it would be received.

"What?" She finally asked.

He still waited before speaking. "What was it like, growing up a princess?"

She knew that he wasn't simply asking what day to day activities were like or how it was to get everything you ever asked for. But what he was asking she had never told anyone. Her feelings during her adolescent years were her own secret. She loved her mother and had always felt that complaining would be speaking ill of her mother and being disrespectful.

Looking at him, she knew she could trust him with this secret. With any secret. "Lonely." She finally admitted. "I had everything I could possibly want, but I was miserable. My mother worried about my safety too much to let me out of the castle. The little I have seen of my own kingdom was because I snuck out."

"Surely you had someone to talk to though?" Killian probed.

She shook her head. "When I was a young child the maids brought a few of their older daughters to play with me. I hardly remember that time. My mother and I talked, but it was never about our feelings on trivial matters. Most discussions pertained to the kingdom or how stressed she was. My betrothal was all we talked about for the past few months. I never had someone else to talk with." She felt raw, exposed. Telling him this was like baring her soul.

He reached up and touched her hair, gently tucking a stray strand behind her ear. She shivered at his touch. "You have friends now." He spoke reverently, like he did not wish to disrupt this moment.

She couldn't stop the smile she gave him. "I'm pretty sure I have one of the best." Her cheeks reddened, but anything was worth the shy grin he gave her.

There was more silence between them, though it was hardly uncomfortable. Eventually he ventured to ask another question. "Why did you want to travel by ship?"

She leaned back so that she was resting against one of the alley walls. "It was my last chance at freedom." She gave an unladylike snort. "I am not under the naïve impression that my future husband will allow me a chance to find adventure."

He grimaced at the mention of her future husband. At times it was easy to forget why she was even traveling in the first place. It was hard to focus on what a man she had never met was going to be like, though she had no doubt that he would be nothing like the complex man before her. He spoke again. "I hope we are allowing you the freedom you so desire. There is not much to be done on the _Jewel of the Realm_, but I am sorry if I have ever done anything to impede on your freedom or leave you feeling trapped."

"No!" When would this stubborn man see that he had no reason to apologize to her? "This month that we have been at sea has been the most freeing of my life. In all the time I have been on that ship, never has there been a moment that I felt trapped." Before she could stop herself she spoke again. "You think too little of yourself."

His eyes widened as he stared at her, unblinking. She knew she had been bold in speaking up like that, but she could not bring herself to regret her words. Killian needed to understand that he was worth all of the compliments and accolades given to him. She didn't think about the consequences. She rested her hand on his arm. She could feel his warmth, even through his clothing. How she wished she could touch his bare arm! Her thumb rubbed against the fabric softly.

She looked into his eyes, hoping he understood. "This trip would not be enjoyable at all if not for you."

He continued to stare. She watched him swallow before opening his mouth to speak. He closed it, and then waited another moment before trying again. His voice was shaky when he got the words out. "I hate this day."

His words startled her, but she understood what he meant. He was not saying that he hated this very day, but rather that he hated his birthday in general. She didn't move away from him, only continued rubbing her thumb, hoping to comfort him. He truly hated this day, and for who knows how long he had allowed that hate to spoil this same day every year. She wanted to ask why. She was still staring at him, searching his eyes for any hint of reasoning.

He shocked her by taking a step closer to her, invading her personal space. She could smell him again, and this time the feel of his breath was on her face, not only her cheek. All at once he was too close and not close enough. Her hand on his arm tightened, holding on to him. He broke his stare, but only to allow his gaze to drift over her features. She watched as his eyes fell to her lips, and shuddered. She needed him closer.

Laughter rang from down the alley. She turned away from Killian, stepping to the side of where she had stood. His arm, which she had only just realized had reached for her, followed her step before falling back to his side. A group of kids were in the alley playing tag. They appeared young and innocent, but Emma couldn't help the twinge of anger she felt. They had interrupted her and Killian, this moment lost from them forever. To be honest, she wasn't sure what would have happened had they not come running down the alley. But her heart was pounding, reminding her that she knew what she wanted to happen.

The space between her and Killian was no more than a few feet, but after being so close to him it felt like a chasm. She wished she knew how to close it. This feeling of tension was new to her and she did not like it. She shuffled her feet awkwardly, hoping for him to say something that would ease the almost palpable feeling in the air around them.

He did not speak and it took Emma a moment to realize the kids had already run past them and were leaving the alley. She and Killian were alone again, but she knew that there would be no repeat of what had just happened. Looking at Killian she saw that his jaw was clenched and he was shaking his head. She wasn't sure if his frustration had to do with what he had almost done or at being stopped. She couldn't stop the voice telling her it was probably the former, as much as she hoped it wasn't.

"I believe it is time for something to eat." Killian interrupted her thoughts. His voice was strained, letting her know that she wasn't the only one that was affected by whatever was going on.

She couldn't explain her feelings. She knew she was engaged, and she knew what would happen when she arrived at the Dark One's kingdom. So why was she allowing herself to be drawn in by Killian? Yes, he was attractive. One would have to be a fool not to notice his dark hair, and appealing stubble, not to mention his absolutely gorgeous eyes. But was that the only reason she had what she could only describe as _feelings_ for him? Even as she thought it, she knew it wasn't true. She was not a vain person, and there was so much more to like bout Killian than his appearance.

None of this answered her question as to why she had these feelings. Wasn't one supposed to only have them for their intended? Of course, she had never met her betrothed. Baelfire was only a name she had heard from her mother. He wasn't a man she had ever met, and she certainly didn't have feelings for him. Her entire engagement felt fake, like a ruse to trick the kingdoms. Perhaps if she had been given a token like she had often read of being given during times of engagement, then she would feel like she was actually going to marry someone. At first it had been all she could think about, but the more time she spent with Killian, the more the idea became abstract. In fact, it was only Killian buying the dress for her that had really made her start to think of her impending marriage again.

Emma felt Killian stop next to her, and she looked up at him startled. She hadn't realized that he had led her back to the docks. He pointed out several small shops that offered different meals and asked her what sounded good. She had never been given a choice of what to eat before-the scarce options on the ship did not count. She relished in the chance to make a choice. She really didn't know what the different types of food were, but she settled on one of the options Killian had thrown out.

He guided her into the shop, and Emma was all too aware of his careful attempts not to touch her. Once inside the shop, she was overcome with a strong aroma. She wasn't sure what it was, but it smelt the slightest bit spicy and also sweet. Killian must have noticed her appreciate for the scent, because when he bought her food, he also got her a drink that smelled suspiciously like the same spicy and sweet scent. "It's warmed chocolate with cinnamon on top."

She had drunk warmed chocolate before, but she could never recall there being cinnamon. When she voiced this Killian informed her that cinnamon was not grown everywhere, and so some places did not have it. She took a careful sip of the hot drink and couldn't help the moan that escaped her. She could not recall ever tasting something so good.

"I do not want to live anywhere there is not cinnamon ever again." Emma decided aloud. Next to her, Killian laughed, nodding his head in agreement to her sentiment. She ate her food as well, though she was much too distracted by the taste of the cinnamon to even pay attention to what she was eating. It was honestly the most glorious thing she had ever tasted.

She and Killian chatted idly while they ate. The tension that had come between them was gone, though the event was far from forgotten for Emma. She listened intently to Killian sharing a story. It was so rare for him to give an account of one of his own exploits that she cherished every moment of his story. "The captain was so drunk that day that he sailed us straight off course. It wasn't until that night that the crew realized he had gotten us so far off course. The night was cloudy, so it was hard to see the stars above us, but I caught sight of a few I recognized and took up the wheel. The crew would've protested to a young sailor of sixteen starting to sail the ship, but we were so lost that they were willing to give me a chance at getting us home. We managed to sail into the right port that night."

"What happened with the captain?" Emma was enthralled in his story. She had known he was a great navigator, but she had not realized he had been so good at it at a young age.

Killian chuckled before stopping. "Sorry, it's not proper to laugh at a man's misfortune. The captain was reprimanded and dismissed for his behavior. On a more important mission his drunkenness could have hurt the kingdom."

"Well, as I always say, 'drunkenness leads to bad form.'" Emma teased.

"Oh, yes, lass. I recall you say that quite often." Killian shook his head, a grin still on his face.

Emma though back to his story. It was amazing that just a few stars had been enough for Killian to get the ship back on course. She remembered that morning and the thousands of stars she had seen before the sun had risen. They had all seemed like a jumbled mess, she couldn't imagine being able to use them to get her someplace. "Can you teach me?"

Killian looked surprised at her question. "Teach you what?"

"The stars." Emma said. "Can you teach me about the constellations and how to navigate them?"

Killian seemed to consider that. "The only way to do that would be at night once the sun is below the horizon. It would also take a considerable amount of time to learn." He squinted at her. "Are you sure you want to spend that much time learning them? You would lose a fair amount of sleep? Though it wouldn't be every night, maybe a few a week."

She nodded that she was sure. Yes she was usually tired at the end of the day, but learning about the stars seemed exciting. No matter where she was she could use the stars to get someplace. She could be anywhere and gazing at the stars would bring her home. She just wished she knew where home was. There was also the motivation of being able to spend more time with Killian. She knew she shouldn't want to, but the idea of spending as much time with him as possible made her want to do anything possible to make it happen.

Killian gave her another smile. "Okay, lass. I'll talk with Liam. He will most likely approve of my starting to show you tonight. I suspect he would agree to anything I ask of him today."

It took Emma a full second to realize he had said the last part as a joke. Her surprise must have been evident on her face, but his was as well. She doubted very much that he had ever joked at the idea of his birthday before.

He looked down at the table they were still sitting at. "For a little bit today, I had actually forgotten what the date was. I don't think I've ever done that before."

She knew Liam would shake his head and insist she remain quiet, but she couldn't help it. For some reason she _knew_ that he wanted her to ask. He wanted to share, but he also wanted her to want to know. To care enough to know. "What happened?"

He didn't answer immediately, but she knew he would. She wouldn't push him, she would only wait. Finally he spoke up. "My family has had its share of tragedies, and they seem to all happen on the same day." He paused then, and she mulled over his words. She had known it was personal, and she had suspected it had to do with his family, what with Liam's overprotectiveness this morning. She didn't speak or move, for fear of stopping him from opening up. "My mother died in childbirth with me. I don't know much about her, only what Liam has been able to share. I am thankful that he can remember her and tell me small details. My father," He spit the word out like it was a bitter taste, "never shared anything about her with me. He blamed me for her death, saying that if I had not caused her trouble during childbirth she would have been able to survive. She didn't have any trouble with Liam."

He paused again, and this time Emma didn't stop herself from moving. She grabbed his hand across the table and laced her fingers through his. He didn't stop her or pull away, instead he twisted his palm to tighten their grip on each other. "My father liked to remind me of this. He was always the most vocal on my birthday, which was also the day she passed on. Liam always tried to make these days' happy ones, but he was young and that responsibility should never have been his. On my ninth birthday my day left us. We had just moved to a new city and I thought that things were going to change." His laugh was bitter. "Well, they did. My father abandoned us. Life actually became easier after that, but that was mostly because of Liam. He did everything he could to raise me the way my father should have. I am so thankful to him for what he has done for me. I wish I didn't become withdrawn on my birthday, but every year that it comes, I feel like I must mourn the loss of my mother and the abandonment of my father."

She felt a tear slip down her cheek, then another. She was not a crier, having only cried in times of extreme pain or loss, but she couldn't stop the silent tears. She was thankful Killian was looking at the joined hand and not her face. This man before her had gone through so much. She knew what it was like to only have one parent but she knew her mother loved her. Killian did not know a parent's love and that broke her heart. He was so strong to be able to smile and be open despite the pain he had grown up with. So one day a year he allowed the bitterness to creep in; a lesser man would not have the strength and heart to smile every other day of the year like he did.

Killian looked up and caught her eye. He was not crying, though his eyes were glazed over. Almost immediately they became focused and his frown deepened. He leaned across the table and lifted the hand that she was not holding to her face. Gently, she felt his hand caress her face. His hand was rough and calloused, but it did not feel harsh against her cheek. With his thumb, Killian slowly wiped away her tear. "Please don't cry, love." He had called her several names before, but never love. The name didn't sound like another nickname, but a term of endearment.

She was subconsciously aware that they were currently alone in the pub. Killian's hand was still warm against her face, catching her tears with his thumb. Why was he comforting her? He had just opened his past to her and she was allowing him to comfort her? Not allowed her doubts to deter her, Emma lifted her free hand to grab the hand against her face. She slowly moved his hand, him letting her guide it from her cheek to her lips. She made sure she had eye contact with him before she gently pressed her lips to the palm of his hand. She heard his sharp intake of breath.

"You." She kissed his thumb. "Are." She pressed another kiss to his next finger. "Completely." Another kiss. "Utterly." Another. "Beautifully." She pressed her lips against his last finger, whispering so he felt her breath as she spoke. "Amazing."

She didn't break her eye contact with him. She could hear his breathing and knew it was ragged. She also knew hers must be the same. She had no idea what she was doing, but the feel of his skin beneath her lips was intoxicating.

The door to the pub banged open and she dropped his hand at the same time that he released the one he had been holding. She looked over at the door and saw that it was one of the crew that had entered. He caught sight of them, and waved before walking over. The poor man must have been clueless to both Emma and Killian's glare and he grabbed a chair and dragged it over to join them.

"So what have you been up to, Lieutenant?"

oOoOo

There wasn't much excitement throughout the rest of the afternoon. She enjoyed several pleasant conversations with Killian, but it seemed like the crew member who had joined-_interrupted_-them at lunch had decided it was a good idea to spend part of the afternoon with them. By the time they returned to the ship the crew member, who she had learned was named Leroy, had already decided they needed to visit the tavern that night. Killian had politely declined.

That night at supper, Emma waited as Killian ushered Liam over to join them at the table. He hadn't had a chance to speak with his brother yet about his approval for Killian and Emma to stargaze at night. Emma doubted Liam would tell them not to, though she did worry that constant late nights would affect Killian's work. Liam grabbed a bowl of food before joining them at the table.

"I do hope you've been able to have a lovely day today, Miss Swan." Liam gave her a friendly smile before settling himself in next to his brother.

Lovely? Spending the day with Killian had given her a whirlwind of emotions, and lovely seemed like a pleasant word to sum up the day. "Yes, Captain. Lieutenant Jones showed me a lot of the village, and it was quiet interesting to see." It was amazing, really, how in the company of others the regal speak that she had grown up with came out. She had gotten used to speaking more freely during the afternoon.

"I am glad my brother was good company today." Liam was still smiling, but she understood the unasked question. How had Killian acted throughout the day?

Like at breakfast that morning, Killian also seemed to know what Liam meant. "I will have you know, brother, that I am completely present and can answer your question about my own well-being." He glanced at Emma, before dropping his gaze. He must feel shy about the vulnerability he had shown her. She flushed at the memory of comforting him. What had possessed her to kiss his hand like that? Not only kiss it, but caress it lovingly. The tension from that afternoon return, but Liam quickly distracted them from it.

"I am well aware of your presence, _little_ brother. I was merely making sure the lady had found you tolerable." Liam replied to his brother's accusation.

Killian rolled his eyes before taking a bite of food. "Miss Swan and I had a conversation this afternoon and she expressed an interest in learning about constellations and navigation."

Emma chimed in before Liam could respond. "It is such a fascinating thought, that the stars can lead you home."

Liam didn't even hesitate in giving affirmation. "I see no reason this should be a problem. Though, Killian, I do expect you to still hold up to your duties. Will this cause a problem?"

Killian shook his head. "No. I think every other night, or perhaps taking two nights of rest in between would allow us both to get sufficient sleep. And the stars are out earlier in the night now, so we will not have to be out so late."

"Splendid. Are you planning on starting these lessons tonight?" Liam took a sip from his mug.

Emma spoke up before Killian could answer. "Yes, Captain. I am really eager. I practically had to beg the lieutenant to teach me." Emma joked. She had hardly needed to convince Killian.

Killian laughed next to her. "So persistent, lass."

She playfully kicked him under the table. But it was Liam who called out "Oi!"

Emma was pretty sure she would be stained red forever. "I am so sorry. I was just trying to stretch my leg."

Liam waved her off. "No need to apologize. It didn't really hurt; I was just caught off guard. If you need to stretch yourself, please feel free to. I only ask that you watch my legs."

Emma apologized again. She spared a glance over at Killian and saw that he was holding in laughter. She wanted to huff at him, but she didn't want to appear improper in front of everyone. She had already tried and failed to hit Killian.

"You know, brother, with you and Miss Swan staying aboard, I think I might just go visit the tavern tonight. It has been a long while since I have enjoyed a drink." Liam said.

Killian seemed to agree that Liam should enjoy a night off. As far as Emma knew, Liam hadn't allowed himself a break since they first set sail. If anyone deserved a night off, it was the Jones' brother. She felt guilty that Killian wouldn't get one until they arrived at their destination. She selfishly did not want his break to come anytime soon.

Waiting for it to be dark enough was the hardest part. She had retired to her room, planning to read a book. When the sun started to set, she had asked Killian through the wall how long it would be until it was dark enough to go out. He had simply answered "a while." Frustrated, she lit the candle next to her bed so she could continue reading. If she wasn't so excited the book would actually hold her interest, but as it was it wasn't enough to distract her from her impatience. Several more times she called through the wall. Around the sixth or seventh time she swore Killian was laughing at her.

Getting up, she grabbed a light cape and wrapped it around her shoulders. She didn't knock before opening Killian's door; she just barged into his part of the room. He was lying on his bed, with a book in his hand. He sat up immediately and put the book down. Emma couldn't tell what the book was, but she was certain it was an informational book rather than an enjoyment book.

"Impatient, are we?" He joked when he had recovered from his shock.

She crossed her arms. "I thought you said it was getting darker earlier?"

"Lass, it's only just now dusk. It will still be another hour or so before the sky is dark enough to make out constellations. The most you would be able to see right now would be an occasional star." Killian tried to reason.

She, however, was determined. "Let's go! I'll learn the stars one by one then."

Killian laughed again, and she had to smile at how much he had managed to laugh today. "You can hardly learn full constellations one star at a time, but I can give you a few of the names. C'mon." Killian stood from the bed and led her out of the room. She had wondered where they would go for the lesson, though now she saw that he was leading her the same way he had that morning. She felt a shiver despite her cape at the thought of being in the lookout again.

Sure enough, Killian brought her to the same place, and started the climb first. She followed after him, much more sure of her climbing than she had been that morning. She lifted herself into the lookout and leaned against the edge. It was the same view she had seen that morning. It was funny how just a few hours ago she had been impatient to see the sun rise, and now she wanted it to set more than anything.

Unlike that morning, Killian kept his distance, even in the cramped quarters. He leaned against the opposite side of the lookout, still closer than someone would normally stand, but much further than she wanted him. She couldn't feel his heat from this distance.

She saw some of the crew milling about the ship, tidying this or tying off that. They worked diligently before Liam dismissed them and they disembarked. She watched as Liam went about checking the work before finally glancing up at the lookout. He motioned something, which Killian must have responded too, because then he was nodding and walking down the gangplank. As the sun set lower into the sky, more people left the ship, so that by the time the yellow hue had left the sky all of the crew was gone.

Killian had pointed out a few stars while they were waiting for the sun to set. The bright one to her right was Sirius. Not far from it was what he called The North Star. He said that was one of the most important stars to navigators. She listened intently, trying to remember all of the different names.

It seemed gradual, but then she was also sure she had blinked and missed it, but suddenly the sky was full of twinkling lights. She had never had much chance to appreciate them before, and she couldn't help voicing her awe. "I can't believe there are so many, and that they are so bright."

"Aye." Killian agreed behind her. "Stars on one of nature's finest beauties. Do you see that large grouping of stars right above us?" He pointed towards the sky, but she couldn't distinguish one grouping from another.

"I can't make out anything." She said dejectedly. How was she supposed to learn the constellations if she couldn't even make out groupings?

Killian must have noticed her disappointment, for he was quick to speak up. "Quite alright. Most people study charts for months before they are able to make out different constellations. I'm sorry; I should have had you look at some of the maps to start with. If you would like to wait until you've had a chance to learn their shapes, then we can go down."

"No." Emma was quick to say. She had been so eager to see the stars and she didn't want to head down. "We can look over the maps tomorrow. Tonight can you point out the stars with names?"

"Alright, lass." He started up again, naming certain stars in the sky. After a while Emma lost track of which one was which, so Killian repeated the process.

Without the sun, the air grew chilly. She had been wise enough to grab her cape, but it still didn't feel like enough to block out the cold air. She pulled it tighter around herself, trying to keep her body warm. She didn't want there to be any excuse for Killian to send her back inside. Pressure against her back instantly warmed her and sent heat across her body. Killian pointed to another star, his close proximity putting his arm next to her head. She had been so keen on learning the stars that she should've been paying attention, but her attention was suddenly fixed on his arm. He was still wearing his uniform, but she could see the definition in his arm even through it. She remembered having her hand on his arm that morning.

Trying to reign in her thoughts, Emma started trying to rename the stars he had mentioned. She got most of them wrong, but several she did get right. She practiced those and found she was able to remember them better if she focused on a few at a time. She and Killian started a game: he would point to a star and she would have to name it. Occasionally she would point to one and Killian would either say it had no name or give the name. She had no way of knowing if he was right, but she suspected he was.

Even with the game, she was not able to distract her thoughts from his warmth behind her. That morning when they had been in the same position she had felt drawn to him, but after the events of the day she felt the pull was stronger. She wasn't only attracted to him, but she felt like they had a connection. He understood her in a way no one ever had, and in turn she understood him. Knowing about his past and having shared some of hers made her feel closer to him that she had even fifteen hours ago.

She started to feel tired, though she by no means wanted to retire for the night. Instead she risked being bold, and leaned against him more fully. He shifted behind her, but it was not away from her, he only repositioned her so that she was able to rest comfortably. She laid her head down upon his chest and could hear his heartbeat. She had expected it to be steady and calm, but she found his heart to be racing to a similar pattern as hers. He wrapped one arm around her waist, still pointing out the stars with his other.

A noise below them startled her, causing her to straighten quickly. She turned towards what she thought was the sound, but she lost her balance and tripped. Before she could fall into the ledge, Killian grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her into him.

"It was only the wind knocking over a mug." Killian assured her. The noise hadn't scared her as much as startle her. She had been too lost in thought to notice anything.

She stared in front of her and was met with the buttons and Killian's uniform. When she had tripped and she twisted, so instead of pulled her back into him, Killian had gathered her right in his arms. His hands had moved from her wrists to her shoulders. She looked up to thank him, but she couldn't get the words out.

She had looked at him many times-more than she would ever admit. So how had she never noticed how bright his eyes shined? It was night, she should not be able to make out the striking blue in them. It took her only long enough to draw her gaze away from his eyes to notice just how close he had pulled her. It wasn't like he had much choice, with their limited room, but she had ended up pressed lightly against his front. Looking at his face, she realized that if it wasn't for his height, she would be nose to nose with him. As it was she could feel his breath ghosting over her forehead.

His hand moved from her shoulder to her face, tilting it back up to meet his gaze. She stared at him, wide eyed. His hand against her cheek brought back the warmth she had felt at lunch, and she could remember every detail of what his fingers felt like under her lips. As if he was reading her mind, he traced her lip with his thumb, slowly. Instead of her heart racing, it felt like it had stopped as she waited for him to do something, anything.

Second passed without Killian making any other motion except tracing her lips. She opened her mouth slightly when he pressed his thumb to her lower lip and she gave it a kiss like she had earlier that morning. Killian was so much closer now, she could actually _feel_ his intake of breath. Feeling that she had an effect on him and knowing this wasn't one way made up Emma's mind. She was tired of waiting for him to make a move.

Without thinking of consequences, she grabbed the lapels of his jackets and surged forward, forming her mouth against his. She felt him stiffen beneath her fingers, and then he was responding, moving his lips against hers. His hand remained on her face, but the other quickly became tangled in her hair, tugging it back to angle her head against him. A moan escaped her as she let go of his collar in favor of grabbing his hair. He groaned against her lips, and she pressed closer to him, needing to hear that sound again.

He caught her bottom lip between his teeth and sucked on it gently. He nibbled it as he let her lip go, and she didn't even try to stop the whimper that escaped her. Not wanting to be outdone, she caught his lip between hers and repeated his motion. His arm that had been on her face, wrapped around her back, crushing her into him. They couldn't be close enough.

His kisses slowed after some time, becoming light pecks before he finally pulled away. She was too overwhelmed with need to even open her eyes. Killian's breathing was uneven and she knew hers was as well. She opened her eyes slowly, not wanting the moment to disappear. Killian's face was completely flushed, his lips swollen. She felt pride knowing she had done that. They stayed still, holding one another before Killian finally lowered his arms.

"Emma, love, it's time to head in." He spoke gently, like he was just as afraid of this moment ending as she was.

She knew he was right, but she also knew that she wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. That kiss…well, it was certainly enough to keep a woman up at night.

He climbed down the ladder and waited for her at the bottom. They walked to the room in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. The silence wasn't awkward, though Emma knew there was a lot that needed to be said. As Emma headed for her own door in the Killian followed her until he reached the doorway.

"We will discuss this in the morning, love." Killian reassured her before lightly pressing his lips against her forehead. He took a step back and she closer her door. Even as she climbed into her bed, she knew that she wouldn't be able to rest until they had spoken and figured out exactly what had happened tonight.

**A/N: Well, this was not supposed to be 8,000 words long. Small details keep getting added into the story, making it longer, but I wouldn't change any of them. I loved writing this chapter, it's probably been my favorite to write ever. My favorite part is the middle section, though. I just love seeing both Emma and Killian have a chance to be strong for one another. Oh, and Liam is probably the best secondary character ever. Can we all just agree that ever Captain Swan fanfic needs to have Liam mentioned or appear?**

**Thank you so much for reading this. I can't tell you how much it encourages me when I receive alerts saying I have a review or it's been favorited by someone. Everyone of you is amazing. Please take a second to let me know what you liked and what I need to improve. It's recently come to my attention that my vocabulary is somewhat limited on time pieces.**


	4. Chapter 4

Sleep was not an easy accomplishment. It took Emma half the night to fall asleep, and even then she was not able to rest. She had awoken early in the early hours of the morning, the hours between full of dreams. She had known from the moment she separated from Killian that rest would be impossible, and how could it not be when her every thought was consumed with him? His kiss had been her first.

She had heard several romantic tales growing up, but she had only allowed herself to dream about what her first kiss would be like on a rare occasion. The stories all called the first kiss between the maiden and prince to be True Love's kiss, and Emma had been led to believe it was the most powerful force in the world. How could it not be when it broke every curse magic could conjure? Her imagination had led her to picture her first kiss the same way as those in the tales: sweet and soft, two pairs of lips touching but for a moment.

When she had learned about her betrothal, all plans of True Love's kiss were banished from her mind. How could an arranged marriage ever be true love? Thinking back to the previous night, she was in a way relieved that her first kiss had not been to an unknown man on her wedding day. Her kiss with Killian had not been what she had expected (or what was expected of her, for she had been told her first kiss must be with the man she married), but she had wanted to kiss him, and it had been her choice.

A shiver went down her spine as images from the previous night came to mind. The look in Killian's brilliant blue eyes as they stared at each other and the feeling of his lips, warm and incessant, against her own. She hadn't known what to expect when she had grabbed his collar and pulled him to her, but the feeling of him drawing her lip into his mouth and sucking on it had been a recurring dream during the night. No, her first kiss was not at all what she had imagined; it was so much_ more._

Was every kiss like that? Or was Killian just exceptionally skilled at it? She dismissed the idea immediately, not wanted to know how Killian came to be so skilled at it. She had no right to be jealous, but a part of her wanted to be special, wanted to be the only one who had ignited these feeling in him like he was the only one for her.

She had been lying awake, anticipating him awakening, for hours now. She partially dreaded the upcoming conversation and was looking forward to it. She had not thought much about what needed to be said, choosing to replay her memories instead. The thought of him regretting his actions last night was her most predominant fear. If he regretted it, she should be truly humiliated.

Her thoughts had often turned to her feelings. Of all the confusion the kiss had provided for her, it did clear one thought up. The emotions that she carried in regards to Killian were different than for anyone else. Her feelings were for him alone, and the thought terrified her. How had he become so dear to her in such a short time? Two days ago he had been her friend and nothing more; now he had a piece of her heart. The most terrifying part was that she wasn't sure he was even aware he was holding it. How she enjoyed his company! He understood her like no one had ever bothered to before, and she cherished the friendship they had struck up in the past month. She could not picture wanting anyone else to hold her like he had done last night.

_In eight months she would be in the arms of another man._

A soft knock kept her from dwelling on the panic her last thought brought. The knock would not have woken her, but since she was awake, she carefully pulled herself out of bed and went to the door. She thought about fixing her appearance, as someone in her position would surely do, but instead she swung the door open. Her hair was tangled and she was still in her sleeping gown, but knowing it was Killian on the other side kept her form worrying. He was not so shallow to think she went without effort every day.

She had forgotten to take into account the sheerness of the gown. It was not light enough to be seen through, but it left little of her shape to his imagination. Her cheeks flushed as she watched his gaze rake down her form. He abruptly tore his gaze away and walked back into his room. She started to question why he was retreating, when he turned back to her, coat in hand. He held it out to her, his gaze on the ground. She took it, her hand briefly brushing his.

She caught her first good look at him. His eyes were glazed with dark rings under them, and his shoulders sagged forward. His posture was so different his usual straight backed stance. A pang of sympathy went through her as she realized this was the second night he had not slept much. Suddenly this conversation could wait. She didn't want to talk with him at the expense of his wellbeing.

Wearing his coat now, she felt warmer than she had in hours. "Killian, you need to sleep." This could wait. She could wait.

He shook his head. "We need to talk, Emma. I fear neither of us will be able to sleep before we do."

He was right. She had not slept either, but at least she had not been plagued with nightmares the previous night. They still stood in the doorway, but with a step back, he invited her into his part of the room. As she walked past him, his scent met her nose and she paused. The desire to feel him close to her again was almost overwhelming, but she couldn't. Now was not the time for her to act on her thoughts.

There were only two options for her to choose from to sit in his room. A desk with a chair sat in the corner and then there was his bed. She didn't think-something she was becoming more comfortable doing around him-and sat upon the edge of his bed. He raised an eyebrow at her before grabbing the chair and pulling it to sit in front of her. He lifted his hand before settling it back down. How did one discuss a kiss?

"I…lass, do you regret last night?" Killian spoke softly. It dawned on her that he had been plagued with the same fears she had.

She shook her head quickly, trying to ease his mind. "No. Please believe me when I say I enjoyed it." She knew she was blushing, but so was he.

"I am pleased to know that, but I still need to apologize. I took something from you that was not mine for the taking." His voice was full of shame and he was no longer meeting her eyes.

Emma stood to her feet. "Took something?! I grabbed you! If anyone took anything, it was me doing the taking." She towered over him now, and she saw him wince at her angry words.

He searched her eyes before replying. "Aye, while you might have initiated our moment, I did not stop it like I should have. I was selfish in my desires."

"Then we are both selfish." Emma declared. "For I wanted to kiss you since our interrupted moment in the alley yesterday; and I still do." She spoke barely in a whisper, fearing her words were too much.

His eyes widened, but he did not move. "You can't say things like that, love."

Her heart jumped at his term of endearment. She stepped closer to him, so she was nearly straddling his legs. "And why not?"

"Because you are engaged." The words were like cold water being thrown over her. She was engaged. They were on a ship, him escorting her to her intended. Why had she ignored the thought whenever it came to mind?

She should've stepped back from him, but she was rooted to the spot. She was engaged, so whatever this was between her and Killian couldn't happen. She was still looking down at him, so he had to reach up to touch her cheek. She stepped back, his hand falling from her face. She couldn't deal with touching him right now. Why had she been so stupid? Of course nothing would come of her feelings. It was the same problem she'd had for months now. She wanted to marry someone she did love or could love, but she was not presented with that choice. She had thought it was painful then, knowing she would never know love. Now she knew better. While she might not be in love with Killian, she felt more for him than she had ever felt for anyone. The thought that an arranged marriage was keeping her from pursuing her feelings left her shaking. She wasn't sure if she should cry or yell. Yelling sounded much better at this point.

Killian stood and opened the door to her room. "Breakfast will probably be ready shortly. I'll wait however long you need."

She said nothing as she walked to the door. She wanted to shut it and give into the emotions she was feeling, but she had to know something. "Do you regret it?"

He caught her eye and spoke slowly. "Love, I do not regret a single moment I've spent with you."

He stepped back and shut the door in front of her. She was alone.

oOoOo

Awkward was not a feeling she was familiar with, but it was how she felt the remainder of the day. She saw Liam give Killian a curious look at the morning meal. He had most likely noticed their awkward behavior and was curious as to what started it. Later in the day she saw Killian speaking with his brother. A few times their gaze drifted to her, and Emma wondered what Killian had told Liam. Was he sharing the truth of what happened, or was he providing his brother with an excuse for their behavior?

She never did get her answer. Over the course of the next few weeks, her relationship with Killian became normal again. He still gave her lessons on the stars, but they now stayed on the lower deck were there was space between them. She had learned a lot from him, and she had found she enjoyed learning from him. He had shown her the map of their journey, and she was starting to learn how to navigate to their destination.

They had stopped twice more in the past four months. Each time she had gone ashore with Killian, but these visits were brief, nothing like her first trip on land. She also had more freedom onboard now. She knew the crew well and she and Killian both trusted them enough for Killian to not need to keep a constant eye on her. There were times when she went half the day without speaking to him, though she knew he was close by still.

Liam had informed her that there would be only one more stop before they reached their destination in four months. The last port was still two months away, which would make it the longest they had been onboard without a stop. No matter what, time continued to move forward at a steady pace. In two months they would stop and then two months after they would arrive. In four months she would be married.

She had started to wonder lately what life would be like once she was married to Baelfire. She had heard rumors that the Dark One was a cruel ruler, hence his name. She hardly imagined his son being any different. Would he treat her kindly? And would he treat her like an equal or was she expected to remain silent and merely be a presence in the throne room?

She had grown used to her freedom in these past several months. She could go where she wanted, and if she was told to do something, it was only because there was a concern for her safety. She trusted both Killian and Liam to not belittle her or boss her around, so when they suddenly ordered her to do something, she listened. Most of the time they allowed her to choose what she was going to do or how she would respond to an issue.

A shout on deck caught her attention. She turned towards the noise, but could see nothing out of place. A few men were pointing, but she could not see what at. She saw Killian across the deck and made her way over to him. He was looking over the deck, but spared her a glance when she got close.

She asked him what was happening and he pointed to the horizon. In the distance she made out a small line that should not be there. She turned to question what it was, but he was already answering. "It's an island."

"I thought we were not going to come across land for another two months?" Emma asked. Their sailing was supposed to be straight though, nothing in the way.

Killian was looking at the horizon when Liam made his way over to join them. "Aye, Miss Swan, there should be no land. I have studied all of the maps available for our journey, and none charted a land mass here."

How could a land mass be missed? She voiced this out loud and Killian shrugged in response. "Careless cartographers or perhaps no one has traveled our exact path before."

Liam nodded in agreement with his brother, before stepping back. He turned and addressed the crew. "Keep course. When we are closer to this island, we will shift course to travel around. Stay away from the reef."

The crew murmured their understanding and got to work. Liam left them and made his way to the wheel. The commotion died down as everyone went back to their jobs on the ship.

She stayed behind with Killian, who had yet to remove his eyes from the island.

"How do you think it was missed?" Emma asked.

He finally tore his gaze away and looked at her. There was a faraway look in his eye. "I'm not sure. I have a bad feeling about it, I guess. Something about it feels ominous."

She wasn't sure what he was talking about, but he seemed so confident that she couldn't help feeling dread.

oOoOo

The weather had been clear for several days, no clouds in sight. Now as they came closer to the island, dark clouds were gathering. The wind had picked up, though it still wasn't enough to worry anyone. She wondered briefly if the sudden shift in weather had anything to do with the island. It seemed the closer they came to the island, the worse the weather became.

Liam was convinced the weather would blow over, but Emma knew Killian did not share the sentiment. That night Killian shared his concern with her. "Logically speaking this storm shouldn't be a problem. Liam is convinced of this at least, yet I cannot dismiss it so easily."

She and Killian were in his part of the room, the door to the hall open. She stood by her own door, keeping her distance. She wanted to say he was being paranoid, but she trusted his judgment too much. If he felt something was wrong, it most likely was.

"If my feeling is right and there is trouble ahead, please promise me you will stay close?" Killian asked.

She wondered why he would feel the need to ask, since she already stuck close to him most of the time. "I promise." She looked at the candle that was providing light for them. "If the storm does become dangerous, what will you do?"

He followed her gaze toward the light. "Liam and I will try to maintain control of the helm. The biggest concern will be getting too close to the reef by the island."

She had learned enough to know that if they were by the reef when a storm struck that they could wreck. The entire time she had been aboard she had never feared crashing, yet now the fear consumed her. If the ship wrecked, what would that mean for them? This island was on no chart, so how would anyone know to look for them.

Killian must have read her fears, for he suddenly stood in front of her. He only hesitated a second before taking her face in his hands. "Every man on this ship will ensure that you are safe. If it makes you more comfortable, when the rains come you can stay down here. It isn't ideal for my agreement with the queen, but it will be safest for you."

His words processed in her mind after a delay. He had not been this close to her since they had agreed not to pursue their feelings. She had convinced herself that her feelings for him had diminished in the past four months, but standing here now, she knew better. His presence alone was enough to calm her fears, yet her heart was still racing.

The ship shook, sending her stumbling. Killian caught her arm to keep her from falling. He released her and made his way to the hall. Glancing back, he motioned to her door. "Something is wrong on deck. It would be best that you stayed behind."

He left without looking back. She knew he had gone on deck, and she was surprised he had left her. She turned to do as he said and lock herself in her room when she paused. She had no idea if there really was any danger, and she did not want to be sitting in her room for hours waiting on his return. She grabbed the knife she had learned he kept beside his bed and made her way onto the deck.

She quickly learned the knife was unnecessary. The ship was not under attack, at least not by men. The waves were higher than she had ever seen; high enough to send water over the deck when the crashed. It was the beating of the sea on the ship that was causing the shaking. Perhaps Killian had been right when he told her to stay below deck. But she was up here now.

Looking around for a way to help, she saw several men struggling to keep hold of a rope. It looked like they were trying to lower the sails, but the wind was keeping them up. She stood fully on the deck, the wind nearly knocking her down. She crouched against the wind, the water soaking her feet. It looked like the men were going to protest against her help, but another gust came and they had no choice but to let her grab hold and pull with them.

There was shouting on deck, but she couldn't make out the words. One second the pounding noise was only from the waves below, and in the next rain was beating on the deck, drowning out all other noise. Her dress was soaked through, clinging to her body. The temperature, which had been a little warmer lately, had dropped and she was starting to be chilled. Her hands ached from pulling on the resisting rope. Behind her she heard thought she heard someone speaking. She spared a glance backwards to see the rope had been successfully tied off. Releasing it, her arms felt disconnected from her body.

The waves were rising higher now, several crashing above her. She lifted her foot to step when another wave rocked the boat, knocking her down. She fell to her knees, pain stabbing up them. She was certain they were bruised, but that was a minor detail. She struggled to her feet and reached for the deck. She held tightly to the rail as she ship listed. Loose items flew across it and she panicked whenever someone slipped or fell. She scanned the ship, needing to make sure Killian and Liam were alright. The rain was coming down harder, blurring her vision. She could barely see the men beside her, let alone the ships' help where they surely were.

The ship listed to the other side and she almost slipped. She held on tightly, wondering how long this storm was here for. She looked at the men around her and she knew there was nothing they could do but hold on. A sudden flash of lightning lit up her surroundings enough for her to see the island clearly. They were almost on top of it now, the waves having pushed them inland. She wanted to feel relief, but before she could she saw the rocks. Several tall rocks jutted from the sea before the shore, and they were directly in their path.

They were going to crash and there was nothing anyone could do. Never had she felt so helpless. The ship listed again, and this time she was falling; falling with nothing to hold on to. The last thing she heard was a shout that sounded like her name.

oOoOo

She didn't want to open her eyes, too afraid of what she would see. The last thing she remembered was losing her grip. She didn't recall hitting the water, and she had no idea how she ended up on land. The land beneath her was rough and even without opening her eyes she knew it was sand. She threw her arm over her eyes, dreading what she might find if she opened them. The sun was shining now, heating her skin.

"You scared me, love." She knew that voice, would know it anywhere. She opened her eyes and was greeting with the sight of Killian. Definitely not the sight she had been dreading. His hair and clothing were still wet, and she realized hers were as well. She didn't care about any of that as she stood up and launched herself forward. He caught her and hugged her close. "What possessed you to come up to the deck?"

She inhaled, breathing in his scent. His body was warm against her, heating her faster than even the sun could. She laughed briefly, overjoyed that if anything he was safe and in her arms. "You should know better than to tell me to stay still." He laughed with her, hugging her tighter.

He released her enough to see her face. "I watched as you went over. It terrified me more than I can ever tell you."

"You jumped in, didn't you?" Emma felt her heart beating fast again.

She expected him to deny it, brush it off like he did most of his accomplishments, but instead his stare intensified, his blue eyes boring into her own green eyes. "Even if I had not promised to watch over you, I would not have been capable of letting you go."

She wanted to return the sentiment, but now was not the time to address it. Right now she was afraid for the crew. "Where is everyone else?"

Killian released her and pointed to the distant edge of the island. "We came in over there. The last I saw of the ship it was still in one piece, but it has been many hours since then. I could not leave to go explore until you awoke." She heard a hint of desperation in his voice. His only family had been on that ship and he had no knowledge if his brother lived or not.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction he had pointed. "Let's go see."

He started to argue that she needed rest, but she refused to hear it. It wasn't only him who was concerned about everyone. She dragged him across the sand and he eventually gave in and followed after her. She had lost her shoes at some time and the sand felt warm against her feet. The island had appeared deceptively small from the ship. It felt like hours that she and Killian walked, and yet the distance never seemed to diminish.

The sand became hotter and started to burn her feet. They walked closer to the shade afterwards, though it did little to relieve the ache that was now settling in her feet and legs. She looked at the sun and become aware that it was midday and she had not eaten since the night before. Killian probably hadn't either. She commented on this and he stopped beside her.

He squinted at the sun before sighing. "There is no fruit by the shore, and I do not have my sword with me. Venturing into the woods would be dangerous right now."

"Then let's keep going." Finding the ship and hopefully survivors were their best chances at finding food right now. They continued on their way, and Emma was thankful that her hunger lessoned the longer they walked. She was certain it wasn't a positive occurrence, but if it kept her stomach from aching she would accept it.

The island curved, and Emma saw a glimpse of the rock formations she had glimpsed during the storm. Her steps sped up as she saw what looked like wood scattered on the ground. Killian picked up speed and practically dragged her across the sand toward the wreckage. The mess before them became clearer, and she was relieved to see a large group of men standing in the distance. Beside her Killian gave a shout, which was loud enough to draw the attention of the men. She saw one of the men break from the group and she knew it was Liam. She released Killian's hand and watched as Liam came closer and proceeded to grab his brother by the shoulders. Liam studied his disheveled appearance before dragging him into his arms, embracing his brother.

She stepped back so she couldn't overhear what Liam was saying. The relief on the captain's face showed he had believed his brother might be dead. No matter what happened or what their positions were, Killian was his little brother and Liam would do anything to protect him. If she saw wet streaks on Liam's face, she would never tell.

The men who had been talking with Liam kept their distance, respecting their captains' privacy. She wondered how often the brothers had a moment like this, where all pretenses were gone. Life or death situations were most likely the cause of any outward displays of emotion, though there was never any doubt to Killian's and Liam's love for each other.

It was Killian who stepped back first, Liam seeming reluctant to let his brother go. He seemed to still be basking in the knowledge that Killian was safe and had been the entire time. She couldn't imagine the fear he must have felt when he saw Killian go overboard. Liam was still speaking quietly, but his gaze finally drifted from his brother. It was then he must have noticed her still standing there.

He pulled completely aware from Killian abruptly, turning to face her instead. Beside him, Killian was slightly red from embarrassment that his reunion with his brother was witnessed by everyone. Liam however, looked ashamed at his neglect.

"I apologize for my disregard about your wellbeing, my lady." Liam all but bowed.

She found his apology unnecessary. Waving her hand, she dismissed the thought. "Captain Jones, I may not have any siblings of my own, but that does not mean I am incapable of understanding familial relations."

"Thank you, Ms. Swan." He bowed his head to her before rotating back to Killian. "The men managed to secure the raft, which was a miracle in this storm. The ship did not fully overturn, but it tipped enough for most of the crew to spill out. We lost Matthews and Anders, but most everyone has assembled here."

Both men paid silent respect to their fallen comrades. She tried to remember who Matthews and Anders were. She recalled that Anders had liked to joke around and lighten the mood at supper, but she couldn't even place a face to Matthews. She felt sick that she couldn't even remember a man who she had been on a ship with for the past five months. Why had she never put effort into getting to know the crew? In five months she should have been able to know all of their names at least.

"What happened to the ship?" Killian was speaking. He had moved, standing closer to her than his brother now.

Liam's face paled and she wished it didn't mean what she supposed it must. The ship was their only way off the island. Without a ship, they would be stuck.

"_The Jewel of the Realm_ is over there." Liam pointed out to sea, where the ship appeared small on the horizon. It was surrounded by rocks and it would be foolish to assume it had avoided damage by all. "It was heavily damaged before we were discharged, so I cannot imagine what it is like now. We are gathering a group that will secure it. We also need to procure food on this island, so another group will have to stay behind to scavenge for fruit or possibly a wild animal."

He sounded and looked apologetic, but she couldn't understand why. They were all marooned here together, so why was Liam singling her out for apology? Perhaps it was because he did not believe a lady was fit to survive on an island. If that was it, then she would have to show him wrong.

"We've been trained to survive in these conditions." Killian spoke softly, addressing only her. "Occupational hazard."

She smiled at his light joke. There was a hint of truth to it though. Of course anyone who joined the royal navy would have to know a ship wreck was a possibility.

"I lost my sword in the storm. Do we perchance have one to spare?" Killian asked.

Liam led them forward, back towards where the crew was still waiting. "Stevenson," He shouted from the distance. "Go acquire Lieutenant Jones a weapon." The man in question scurried off and it was the first time Emma really saw the group.

The men looked haggard, like the storm had worn on their very souls. Beside them there was a pile that looked to contain clothing and blankets, and perhaps a sword somewhere buried within. "Is that all that was salvageable?"

Liam sighed. "That's all we have been able to rescue at the moment. It is my hope that more will on the ship that we can use."

She did as well. The meager supplies they had would not last them long. Her legs were stiff after having stopped moving for a bit, causing her steps to be unbalanced. She stumbled once and would have tripped if Killian had not been standing close enough to catch her. He pulled her up so she was firmly on her feet, but even then he did not release her. He appraised her before turning towards his brother.

"Captain, do we have any food currently? Emma has not eaten in some time and I fear it has made her feel faint." Killian did not speak in a condescending way, but she bristled at his words.

"I am not faint! Only a bit tired." She glared up at him. "And you have not eaten in the same amount of time."

She heard him chuckle. "Quit being stubborn, lass. You know it is my duty to keep you safe, and starving does not become you."

She wanted to retaliate, but Liam spoke over her, shouting orders to the remaining crew. Within minutes some kind of fruit had been found. It was purple and something she had never eaten before, but she couldn't be picky now. She took a bit and was almost appalled at the bittersweet taste. She saw others eating the same fruit and reacting much the same. They all seemed to have the same thought: better this than nothing.

Plans were made for heading out to the ship, but nothing could be done with the waning sun. Some men, Harris and Cornick, gathered firewood and more fruit. Once a fire was lit to warm them, the crew broke out in stories. Some were ghost stories, others tales of phenomena's happening on the seas. She listened intently, each story fascinating in its own way. Beside her, Killian sat, laughing throughout the stories, but sharing none of his own.

They were quite a bit through the story when she noticed Liam get up and leave. She watched as he walked a distance from the group before stopping. She looked up at Killian, who was still watching his brother. He turned to her and inclined his head. She nodded and he stood up to follow after his brother.

Cook, the cook who never went by his real name, sat across from her and shifted the conversation. The topic went from stories to their current situation. "It will most likely be a few weeks before the ship is repaired, possibly more." Cook was saying.

A few weeks? They had been on target to arrive just a short bit before she needed to be there. If they were delayed a few weeks…she would miss her own wedding.

oOoOo

"What are you doing?" The angry question was not what Killian expected when he went after Liam. He had noticed something was bothering Liam since they had come back, but he had not spoken on it until now.

"What are you referring to, brother?" Killian spoke cautiously. He was confident that it was his brother mad at him, not his captain.

Liam scoffed. "What are you doing with the princess?"

Killian winced; he had wondered when this would come up. He had assumed it would come earlier, when he had mistakenly let himself get carried away with his feelings, not now when he had resigned himself to reality. "Nothing, brother. I am doing nothing with the princess." He had slipped up some earlier that day when he had embraced her after she awoke. For a few moments he had let his feelings could all else, even going so far as speaking in a manner that would tell her he had not moved forward at all. She had been the one to remind him of his slip up when she questioned the safety of the crew rather than return his sentiment.

His answer didn't appease Liam. "Perhaps I asked the wrong question." He wasn't looking at Killian anymore, his gaze focused on a star above. "What are your feelings for her?"

Killian took a sharp breath. That was not such an easy question to dismiss. He could say nothing was happening, because it wasn't, but he could not lie and say his feelings were that of only friendship. Liam took his silence as an answer.

"Blimey, Killian." He sounded conflicted. "I encouraged your friendship because I thought you could always use another friend, me being your only other one. I didn't think…I never thought I would be encouraging your feelings for the princess. She's betrothed, Killian!" Liam spoke quietly, but it sounded as if he were shouting.

"I know!" Did his brother honestly believe he was unaware that his affections were placed in a woman he couldn't have? I know she is betrothed. It is why I am not acting on my feelings. Do not make the mistake of believing I wanted this to happen, I did not want to develop whatever these feelings are for Emma. But I would not take them back for anything."

"Not even to spare yourself pain?" Liam was no longer arguing, only trying to reason.

"I suppose not even to do that. She's…" He searched for the best word. How could he possibly describe Princess Emma Swan in a way befitting of her. "She's like a siren. She had no intention of pulling me in, but I am drowning and will happily continue to fall if it means she will stay in my presence."

Liam looked tired and exhausted. He looked back at the group, at the woman who had captured Killian's heart and would not give it back. "That feeling you didn't name." Liam glanced back at Killian, and Killian knew his anger had nothing to do with blaming Killian, but fear that he would be hurt in the end. "It's love."

**A/N: As much as I loved last chapter was about as much as I hated this one! I rewrote the ending multiple times, but I didn't like any of them. The hard part was that the scene was completely necessary, yet it just wasn't coming right. **

**Before anyone says anything about Liam, he's actually acting canonical. Not trusting Killian's judgment is what ultimately led to his death, so I found his disbelief of his brothers hunch to be completely plausible. Also, it isn't that Liam disapproves of Killian falling in love with Emma, he just doesn't want him to be hurt. Emma is supposed to get married soon, in Liam's eyes this is just leading to hurt for his little brother. He did encourage their friendship and he was suspicious at times, but overall outside of Killian's birthday, where Liam turned a blind eye, they have been really good at not acting or expressing their feelings for each other.**

**The end of the chapter was the struggle for me, but it sets up the next chapter, so it was important to have. I hate writing mundane activities, but sometimes it's necessary to show how what the characters are doing in the little moments when life isn't high drama.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading my rant. And the story! Yeah, that's probably why you're here. If you don't mind, please take a moment to review. I cannot tell you enough what it means when my phone pings and tells me I have a review. I usually get a goofy grin and have to think of a way to explain it when I am in public. You are all awesome.**


	5. Chapter 5

She had imagined after learning to sleep on a ship that adjusting once again would be easy. She was wrong. They had no blankets to use, and the sand was coarse beneath her. Every movement she made placed sand in different, _uncomfortable_, places. She had also never slept so close to men before. She had learned to trust the _Jewel of the Realm's _crew, but sleeping in such close proximity made her uneasy. The only person whose closeness didn't bother her was Killian's. He was sleeping next to her, though keeping an appropriate distance. It was mostly likely just her imagination, but she thought she could feel his heat, even at their current distance.

He had been subdued when he returned from talking to Liam. She had wanted to ask him what they had said, but she had a niggling feeling she didn't want to know. She had also been distracted by the news of their delay. In all of her thoughts of her upcoming wedding and her ideas to get out of it before she left, she had never considered the idea of a shipwreck stopping her. In fact, sea had seemed the safer path to take, the roads full of bandits and dangerous men. The thought of being stuck should terrify her, but she found that any obstacle between her and her future husband was welcome

The next morning she did not feel rested, but she must have slept for several men were already gathering wood for a fire and scouting for the same bitter fruit again. She watched as they went into the woods in pairs, each pair returning a few minutes later with arms full of fruit. When a man handed her one, she took it without question, preparing herself for the bitter taste. Perhaps it was due to hunger, but the fruit tasted a bit better than it had the day before. At least the bitterness wasn't a strong. She saw Killian helping to start the fire, though why they needed one she didn't know. The weather had warmed enough to prevent a chill.

"The smoke is a signal, if anyone sees it, they will check out the island and we may be rescued faster than we can do repairs." Liam told her as she watched the smoke billow into the sky.

While the men ate, Liam explained the plan for the day. He divided the men into three groups, sending one to scout the island, one to hunt, and the remaining men to go with him to the ship. The raft was small, so Liam had the smallest group with him. Emma shouldn't have been surprised at the lack of her inclusion. Liam had always treated her kindly, like a friend, but he seemed to be of the opinion that she could do nothing of value on this island. The only good part of being left behind was that Killian was left behind with her.

The men discussed their plans and intentions, leaving her to her own thoughts. If they were truly stuck on this island for weeks, what was she going to do to be helpful? She could hardly sit around and wait for them to return every day. She raised this question to Liam first, and he considered the options.

"I do suppose it would be helpful for you to learn to tie rope together. The vines on the trees can be twisted together to form sturdy rope." Liam pointed towards several trees that had vines twisting around them.

"Why do we need rope?" She knew Liam was trying to make her feel useful, but she didn't want him to simply give her something to do to pacify her desire to help. She wanted to be productive.

He shook his head, a small grin on his face. "We need rope to tie off some of the heavier boards on the ship. Rope is also useful is setting traps and building temporary shelter. I am offering you a real task, Miss Swan."

She flushed at his slight admonition. Liam had taken to speaking to her differently since the previous night. She wished she could speak with him about it; she didn't want to lose a friend. But she knew the reason why Liam was acting this way. His brother literally dove into a storm after her. While they had both agreed with the queen for Killian to look after her, she had learned that Liam's loyalty to the kingdom was second only to his protection over his little brother.

Due to his agreement to look after her, Killian was forced to stay behind with her while the groups dispersed. She felt bad that he was forced to babysit her once again. She was starting to despise the need for constant protection, though certainly not his company. She hardly felt like the same girl who had left her kingdom only a few months ago. She wondered if her mother saw her if would she recognize her. She had a feeling she would neither recognize her, nor approve of the changes.

Killian handed her a knife and instructed her on how to cut down the vines so they were still long enough to tie together. She followed his instructions, and found that she was quite adept at using a knife. She had no idea where the skill had come from, but she relished the idea of being useful. Tying the vines together was a slow process; she had already snapped more than one vine by being too rough with it. Several times Killian abruptly reached over and grabbed her hand, telling her she needed to slow down and be more patient. She ignored the tingling sensation her hand had and continued working.

They made small talk throughout the day, both waiting for the others to return. When it was approaching late afternoon, her hands were sore from working with the ropes. She stopped for a minute to rest them, and stopped along with her.

"I've heard from several of the men now that they believe we will be here for quite some time," Emma said to make conversation.

Killian stretched back against the sand. "I don't know what the damage to the ship is, but from Liam's words, it could take some time. But there is always the possibility that it will take almost no time at all and we will be off of this island tomorrow."

She scoffed, "I highly doubt that."

"So do I, but that doesn't negate the possibility." Killian was looking at the sky now, his eyes following the pattern of a cloud. "I used to dream of big adventures. When I was a young lad, I heard several stories about sailors being shipwrecked on islands with foul creatures. They would fight and survive and live to become glorious heroes." He gave a small laugh before turned to face her. "None of the stories ever mention the complete boredom being stuck on a beach provides you."

She laughed at his story, imagining a young Killian dreaming of being one of those heroes, only to find it wasn't what he imagined it to be. Wasn't she the same, though? "When I was little, I always thought being a princess meant dressing up in pretty gowns and attending balls and meeting handsome princes. At least that's what happened in all the stories I'd read." She turned so she was on her side, only a few feet away from him. "Turns out it mostly just means having your decision made for you."

"Well," he started, "we're stuck on an island of never ending boredom. I daresay you can make your own decisions here. So tell me, love, what is your first?"

He gave her time to think. She had never been asked what she wanted before, at least not when she truly had a choice on it. There was only so much that could be done here. She knew if she had real control over her life her first decision would be to not marry Baelfire. Nothing against him, but she did not want to marry a man she had never met. She would have said that even before she had started falling for the man lying next to her. But she couldn't say that. Not now when there was still uncertainty about getting off the island and getting to her wedding.

"I want to learn to swordfight." She finally said. The concept of being able to defend herself was appealing, especially since it was something she would never be allowed to do by anyone in her own kingdom.

Killian looked startled at her answer. Gradually, he broke out in a wide smile. "Of all the things in the realm, you chose to learn how to wield a weapon. How typical of you, Swan." He stood to his feet. "Come on."

She took his outstretched hand and let him pull her to her feet. Killian retrieved another sword from the small pile of rescues goods and handed it to her. The weapon was heavier than she had expected. When he fully let go, she nearly dropped it, the tip driving in to the sand.

"Adjust your grip on the handle," Killian coached. "You need to keep your wrists loose. There you go."

She listened to his instructions and slowly got used to the feel of the sword in her hands. She swung several times, though they were clumsy and the sword almost flew out of her hand once. She grimaced at her slow progress.

"Love, you've just picked up a sword for the first time today. There is no reason for you to be upset. Just focus on getting the sword comfortable in your hand for now."

She practiced holding the sword for the next few hours. By the time the groups were returning, her arms were aching from making small swings and repositioning her hands. As the men came back, she placed the sword on the ground. It was not a wise idea for her to practice brandishing a sharp weapon around so many people.

"You did a good job today." Killian praised her. "Both with the rope and the sword. I must warn you, though, your hands will be raw tomorrow."

She looked down at her hand, which were red and still sore. She had no doubt that they would blister and cause her pain the next day. She was alright with that. She would wear the blisters as a badge of honor: her first hard day's work of being useful. She was quite proud of her accomplishments. Liam had even told her that he was impressed with the work she had done.

The exploration group reported that no signs of human life were found on the island. Nothing on the island gave a trace of previous inhabitants. More fruit had been found, this time in varying varieties. Some were bitterer than others, but not one of them complained. There were traces of animals, but they had not come across one, so there was no meat. Several of the men had fashioned spears out of their knives and cooked a few pieces of fish for the group. Emma had never eaten a meal so raw, but it was food.

The only bit of bad news came from Liam. The ship was in worse condition than they had thought yesterday. They would work on fixing the problems, but it would take some time. Killian and Liam seemed to have a private conversation with their eyes, and Emma thought she understood. The damage might be too much to fix. They could be stuck here for a very long time.

The weeks passed much the same as they always do that being one day at a time. Some days felt longer than others, yet they passed just the same. At first Emma kept a tally going. She used burned charcoal to mark a tree with lines for each passing day. The first few days were hopeful. The men were determined to fix the ship immediately. By the end of the first week they had realized a more permanent set of sleeping arrangements were necessary. Some of the men shifted from searching the island to building small dwellings made of wood and vines. Traps were set in place to gather meat, each trap proving successful. A stream had even been discovered that provided fresh water. The crew made several trips there a day to replenish their supplies.

By the fourth week, it would appear that all of the men were used to island life. Emma had worn her dresses for the first two weeks, Liam and the crew bringing back supplies from the ship with every trip, but the dresses had become too heavy in the woods, preventing her from successfully practicing her sword fighting and gathered higher placed ropes. She had switched to wearing trousers and an oversized shirt (she had said she grabbed them randomly, but she was fully aware who they belonged to). She had expected the men to stare like her mother had sometimes insisted men did, but none of them seemed to care. She suspected it was partly out of respect to her, and partly to Killian. Nothing more had happened in the past four weeks though.

At least not outwardly. Every day that passed reminded her that there was no chance of her making it to the Dark One's kingdom in enough time to get married. Essentially, she had missed her wedding. In her own mind, she considered the wedding to be off. Besides, she hardly looked like a princess anymore. Anyone who saw her would mistake her for a sailor, or worse, a pirate since there were not many female sailors.

She had started to think of a different future for herself. No matter what happened, the _Jewel of the Realm_ wouldn't dock until it was too late, the contract between the Dark One and her mother negated. She could return back to the kingdom and live with her mother. The thought didn't comfort her like it might have one day. Who was to say her mother didn't try to marry her off again. And then there was the matter of Killian…

He was the real reason she had started to think of her freedom. Had being shipwrecked given her the freedom she'd never had before? For weeks she had tried to avoid the thought of being in a relationship with Killian, but with few activities to do to fill the hours, she had started to allow her mind to drift to fanciful thoughts. Her experience with men had changed from when they first set out, but the connection she felt with him hadn't. What she had once dismissed as being an automatic response to being around an attractive male was certainly anything but.

It wasn't just her heart racing and her thoughts becoming muddled, though that still happened. They _talked_ more than ever. No longer was she treated like a princess by any of them, she was treated as an equal, and she loved it. Even so, Killian still found ways to make her feel special. A compliment here, or an encouraging word there; it warmed her heart. He was her closest friend and she felt comfortable telling him everything. A part of her would be content to be able to remain close to him for the rest of her life, but then her mind reminded her what his kiss felt like and her body yearned for more. No; there was no amount of time that could pass and no new closeness shared as friends that would remove her desire for him.

It was halfway through the second month when Liam announced that the repairs needed were worse than originally thought. The work would continue, but there was no promise of rescue. A strange acceptance setting over the group.

"What will we do, Captain?" Anderson spoke up.

Liam sighed, "First and foremost, I do believe rank is no longer a matter of importance. Everyman – and woman – is equal here." Liam shared a glance with Killian. "Second, the homes we have built are good for temporary use. Sturdier structures should be constructed. Smith and Mattis have excelled at hunting and will continue to do so. The most we can do is to prepare for the reality of this location being our permanent abode."

Liam finished his speech and took a seat. Killian moved to be next to him, and Emma watched as they had a private conversation. She could have sworn they glanced her way several times, but she could not read their expressions. The rest of the crew continued their earlier conversation. The men here had already realized what Liam had previously announced; they had already come to accept their new life.

She had grown up hearing about duty and loyalty, yet here all that mattered was survival. She wasn't a princess and she had come to love it. Freedom suited her much better than captivity ever had. The irony of her finding freedom stuck on an island wasn't lost on her. But she loved where she was at. Or at least who she could be here. A few weeks ago, Killian and she had agreed that she no longer needed constant watching over. She was now adept enough with a sword to defend herself, and she was not daft enough to travel into the woods alone. She had the same freedom as every other man on this island.

oOoOo

"Why tell them now?" Killian questioned once the crew had dispersed following the meal. Even Emma had gone to sit in the shade and start tying the rope needed for further building.

Liam was slow in answering. "They had already started to believe it." Liam looked behind him at the ship that for all it was worth would not sail. "Every man to ever enter the navy has heard that there is a chance of ship wreck, usually with no survivors. We lost two, but our crew has remained strong. The only person here that did not know of the possibility is Princess Emma."

Killian could not help his gaze from drifting back to her. She was sitting in the shade, but the sunlight could still reach her. Her blonde hair looked golden where the rays touched it. She no longer wore her dresses, but trousers that needed to be tied with rope and an oversized shirt that often slipped over a shoulder. He recognized the shirt and tried not to let his eyes linger on her exposed shoulder whenever he saw. It was not proper for a gentleman to be having these thoughts about a lady.

"You've drifted again, brother," Liam said humorously.

Killian looked at his brother, blushing. "You do not seem to speak with the same disdain you did upon first realizing my feelings, Captain."

Liam shook his head. "You're going to get yourself into trouble one day with your words, brother. For a man to be addressing his captain in that tone; truly bad form."

Liam was smiling as Killian replied, "Yes, because equality does not refer to younger brothers."

"Exactly, my dear _little_ brother." Liam dropped his smile a fraction. "And in regards to Miss Swan…I do believe she would agree with my statement of equality."

Killian watched her again. He couldn't deny thinking of it before. For weeks now he had known that they had lost too much time to make it to their destination on time. There would be no wedding; and that thought made him ridiculously happy. Emma had seemed content with the idea of missing it, and the more they spoke, the more of her frustration and anger over being forced into a marriage had revealed itself. But happiness at not being forced to marry a man she didn't know did not equate to a desire to be with a man she did know. They had not addressed any feelings since Killian had told her it was best if they moved on. She might have taken his words to heart and let go of her feelings for him.

But if there was a chance…

A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets.

"Do you have need of me right this second, Liam?" Killian asked.

Liam seemed surprised at the abruptness of the question. He followed Killian's gaze towards Emma and seemed to realize what his brother was asking. "I do believe you would be quite useless right now, little brother."

With a smile, Killian took a step away.

"Brother," Liam stopped him. When Killian looked back, it was to a completely serious Liam. His brother reached out and gripped his arm. "I am truly sorry for my words a month ago. I did not mean to discourage you from happiness, only pain. You are more important to me than anything in all the realms and the thought of you hurting is the one that hurts me the most."

Killian felt his heart clench at Liam's words. His brother was not one for words and sentiments. He didn't know how to reply, so he grabbed Liam's arm and pulled him into him. He clamped onto Liam's shoulder, giving his brother a hug for the first time since they had become marooned. Liam held him back even harder, crushing him. Killian wanted to ask what brought this on, but he couldn't find the words. Slowly, Liam loosened his grip, allowing Killian to step back. It appeared Liam had a tear in his eye, but it never fell. "Get going, you useless fool!" Liam playfully shoved him.

Killian took a step back, smiling to himself as he walked across the shore to where Emma sat.

oOoOo

It was hotter today than it had been in a long time. Emma sat by the tree line, hiding from the sunlight. She concentrated on twisting the rope just right, not wanting to give any reason for it snapping. Anderson had left with a small group to find fallen trees that could be used to turn into shelter. Her hands no longer became sore from working the vines. At first they had blistered, but the blisters had turned into callouses. The vines now felt comfortable in her hands. She felt a presence next to her and looked up just as Killian plopped down into the ground next to her.

He grinned at her, which sent her heart racing. He beckoned behind them towards the woods. "What say we take a break from all this hard work and enjoy the forest air?" His words were teasing, but she knew the invitation was genuine.

There was no hesitation in her answer. "Let me get my sword."

Killian waited while she strapped on the sword she had come to call her own. It was the same one she had started practicing with, and she had come to trust the weapon. She knew how it moved as well as she knew how she did. As soon as the weapon was secures, Killian led her into the woods. When she asked where they were going, he said nothing. She trusted him, but she was curious as to what he might have found in the woods. The further they went in, the denser the forest became. A few times throughout the walk, Killian had stopped and changed directions after coming to an especially thick section.

A bit of time had passed before Killian led her into a small cluster of trees. The trees formed a ring large enough for both her and Killian to squeeze into, though it left little space between them. Only a few inches were between her face and his neck, and she could smell the salt that still clung to him. Neither one complained.

They stood in quiet for a few moments, each soaking in the others presence. "So…" Emma probed. He had brought her out for a reason.

"So," he responded, looking down. He shifted his feet – which coincidently brought him closer – before looking back at her. He met her gaze before continuing, "I've been doing some thinking on this betrothal business."

Her breath caught. Was he finally going to address their feelings? It had been almost half a year since their kiss and she felt like she had been waiting for this since then. She tried to wait patiently, but he seemed to be struggling to find the words. "Thinking can be a dangerous business." She finally ventured to say. She had meant to sound teasing, but her voice only sounded breathless.

Killian's lips twitched upwards, which did nothing to help her attraction to him. "Right." He cleared his throat and began again, his voice much more confident than before. "I do believe you are aware of my feelings for you, at least what they were several months ago. I want you to know, Emma, they have not changed."

He paused. "That is not entirely true." His gaze flickered over her face. "They have changed in that they are now stronger than ever before. I…" He stopped before he could finish, though the cause of his silence was her interrupting.

As soon as she had heard his feelings had grown, she couldn't stop herself. She had once again closed the distance between them and fused her mouth to his. Immediately, he kissed her back. The threaded her fingers into his air while her other hand clutched his shoulder, steadying her. He took a step forward, pressing into her, parting his lips to deepen the kiss. She may have started it, but he was now in control.

She took a step back, taking him with her until she felt her back hit the tree behind her. Killian's tongue swept over her lips and she moaned as she opened her mouth to him. He pressed even closer, so that she was now firmly against both the tree and Killian, which was a pleasant place to be. Her body was hot all over, yet she could not be close enough to him. His tongue traced the roof of her mouth before tangling with her own, sending shivers racing through her body. One of his hands moved from her hair to the small of her back, trying to press her closer, though there was no more distance to close.

She gripped his hair harder. With a groan he pulled back, though he neither removed his hands from her body, nor took a step away from her. His breathing was as ragged as hers, both utterly _wrecked_ from the kiss. Every breath he took she could feel against her skin.

"I…" He paused to draw a breath. "I had a perfectly wonderful speech planned."

Emma laughed, completely carefree. He was here, and they both knew there was no going back now.

"Feel free to continue." Emma couldn't stop her smile, and Killian's eyes seemed drawn to her mouth again.

He shook his head. "Here it is. I have never believed in love, at least not for me. I have seen my share of broken hearts, and I was convinced that if those people couldn't have a happy ending, then neither could I. I have spent my life believing this, much to the chagrin of my brother. I never thought I'd be capable of finding love. That is until I met you."

Emma soaked in his words, trying to memorize them. He wasn't finished. "A few months ago when I was first confronted with these feelings, I was scared. Terrified really. Not that I had fallen in love with you, no I could never be scared of loving you, but that I would finally know that I had always been right. I would never find love, because the first woman who had ever looked at me like I was different, the first woman who I had ever felt drawn to, was engaged to another man and it was my job to bring her to him.

"But we might never get off this island. I don't want to waste this time I have with you because I am afraid of what _might_ happen. I love you too much for that." Killian drew a shaky breath, the first he had since he started speaking. "So will you take the risk with me?"

Even after the kiss, Killian seemed unsure of her response. She moved her hand from his shoulder to cup his jaw. "Killian, I don't think I ever want to leave."

His smile was enough to tell her he understood. This time he kissed her and Emma determined that she was done counting days. Why bother when what she needed was right here. Neither rushed back to the beach, each of them relishing the freedom expressing their feelings gave them.

The sun was lowering in the sky when they finally made their way back to the beach. They were still a few yards from the beach when they heard shouting. Glancing at each other, Killian and Emma raced through the remainder of the woods before coming out into the open beach. Panic gripped Emma's heart.

There was commotion everywhere. Men were yelling orders and grabbing cloth. She tried to see what was going on, but there was too much activity. It seemed to center on a…it was Killian sprinting around her side towards the activity that made her realize what was going on. Mattis came to meet him, grabbing Killian's arm to keep him from reaching the prone figure on the ground which Emma could now see belonged to Liam.

A groan sounded, calmed her heart somewhat. Liam was still alive. Liam wasn't dead. Killian seemed to take little assurance in that, instead pushing Mattis to the side and continuing until he was kneeling next to his brother.

"Bring a bucket of water from the stream to a boil. We need to clean this wound!" Killian shouted above the noise. "And is there any alcohol? Rum?"

Any other time and it would have seemed amusing for the lieutenant to be calling for rum, but now it only made Emma's heart hurt more. Liam couldn't be that hurt, could he? From what she remembered from earlier in the day, he was going to the ship. How hurt could he get on a ship? She knelt down next to Killian, who had taken over responsibility of applying pressure to the wound.

Liam was groaning in pain, but Emma would take that over silence right now. Killian barker more orders, which the crew readily gave. Slowly, the bleeding in Liam's side slowed down. His breathing and pained moans did not.

"What happened, brother?" Killian asked softly, like he wasn't expecting an answer.

Liam opened his eyes a crack. "Wind...knocked down…mast." Liam breathed out.

Emma scooted over so she could cradle Liam's head in her lap. Killian looked at her, his eyes wide with terror over losing his brother.

Behind them Smith sighed. "Killian, he was struck by the mast. The wound in his side is from loose debris on the deck. We believe the worst damage came from the falling mast."

Emma understood what that meant. Liam wasn't dying from the wound in his side, he was dying from something internal. Something none of them could fix. A tear ran down her cheeks, followed by another. Her friend was dying and there was nothing she could do about it. She ran her finger through the hair on his forehead, trying to soothe him. Or maybe it was her.

"Did you…did you ask?" Liam spoke again. She looked at him confused, but realized his question had been directed at Killian, who was now holding his hand.

Killian let out a chocked sob. "Of all the things to say, you are asking me that? Yes, Liam, I did." Liam's eyes moved from Killian to Emma, before he smiled a pained grin.

"Take care of my little brother, princess. He's one of the good ones." Liam spoke without pause, but after his breathing worsened. He turned his head from Emma's lap, coughing blood onto the sand. The crew stood back, allowing Killian and Emma to be alone with Liam. Emma wondered how long it had been since Liam had first been struck to when she and Killian had come back. How long had Liam been lying here, dying? For he was dying; there was no doctor on this island, nor were any of them capable of understanding an internal wound. Liam was dying, brought down by the very ship he had loved so very much.

Liam fought well into the night, Killian never leaving his side. Emma had left only once, and it was to gather a clean cloth to use to rest against Liam's warm forehead. When she returned, Killian was whispering stories to Liam, who would occasionally give a grunt or moan to show he was still with them, still in pain. A part of her wished she did not have to watch a friend die, that she could turn away from Liam's misery. But she couldn't abandon a man she had come to consider her friend. And she couldn't leave Killian either.

When Liam finally passed, it was without warning. Killian was still telling a humorous story about the time Liam had chased after him after he had told a girl Liam liked an embarrassing story when Liam left this world. Neither of them would have noticed except for his hand, which had been gripping Killian's with all the life force he had left, went limp and his harsh breathes stopped.

The crew came and placed a sheet rescued from the ship over Liam, saying they would find the proper burial shard at first light. Emma wanted to escape from the world, to sleep for a few hours without any remembrance of this horrid night. But she couldn't leave Killian to deal with this alone. She might have lost a friend, but he had lost his brother, the only family he had left.

She didn't care what anyone would think, she grabbed Killian's arm and slowly dragged him to his feet. He allowed her to pull him away, his eyes unfocused and glassy. She led him towards the shelter where she slept and lightly pushed him to the ground. Neither said a word as she lay down next to him. There was some space between them at first, but within seconds, Killian was reaching out to her, twisting into her arms.

She held him as he let out a sob. She couldn't stop her own crying, which worsened when he reached between them to dry her eyes and comfort her. They spent the night holding each other, crying from their own pain, and the pain of their last memories of Liam.

**A/N: I apologize for both the wait and the length of the chapter. I'm the type of writer that needs to really be into the work for it to be of good quality, and when I started the first draft of this I was not. I don't know what it was, but I am happy to say that this chapter was pretty much written in two days. I am sorry that it took such a long time for those two days to happen. (It is also worth noting that I am now on break, so I have more time to dedicate to this story). The second thing I need to apologize for is the length of this chapter. I have to tell you, I have grand ideas about what going to happen in each chapter, but there comes a point where I realize the chapter is over and writing more would just be forcing it.**

**I did not want to kill Liam! He's part of the reason this chapter took so long to finish. I was fighting for him, guys. I had two options: he could either be a jerk and an obstacle for Killian and Emma, or he could be supportive and die. I'm so sorry, but Liam just isn't the type of man who stands in the way of his brothers happiness, at least not without good reason. The entire times I was writing, I was trying to find my way around his death. Like, surely he only has to get injured, maybe I could buy him some time. But doing so would change the story. **

**Liam had to die, because that's part of Killian's story, both in OUAT and in my fanfic. I just, ugg, why does it have to be Liam? I just want my Killian to be happy!**

**So if you made it through this, I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.**

**Please let me know what you think, I hope I haven't ruined the story with Liam's death. Please understand that this was always what needed to happen. Even as the author I couldn't fight it.**


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